It's the Late Show Potshow with Stephen Colbert.

Folks, if you watch the show, you know I spend most of my time right over there in the news kitchen, sauteing the most topical South Anatolian red-story beef strips with thinly sliced onion spices and striped monastery tomatoes with mint before carefully

spooning into the hand-rolled puff pastry squares, glazed with the wash of an egg from a

a denzili chicken to serve up the tender and complex Turkish talas kebabbi stuffed pastry

that is my monologue, but sometimes, sometimes folks.

Hit some black ice there. Hit some black ice there in the middle.

Sometimes I wake up on the rusty flatbed of a Brandon drop deck trailer in a highway

runoff ditch where I scrape a raccoon carcass into a half-eaten hot pocket and gnaw on the vagrants

roadkill calzone of news that is my segment.

Meanwhile.

Powered people.

That's a new battle cry.

Meanwhile. Across 10 states, Johnsonville Cheddar Brots have been recalled due to a potential plastic contamination.

Oh, no.

Now they're bad for you.

Meanwhile, researchers have developed a handheld device that could potentially replace stethoscopes as a tool for detecting certain types of heart disease.

Well, we already have a handheld device that predicts heart disease.

Johnsonville cheddar brats.

If you're holding one, chances are you have heart disease.

Meanwhile, beloved baseball mascot Mr. Met is entering the 2025 season with a noticeably stronger

build. This is the old Mr. Met and here's what he looks like now. Yauza! He is jacked.

Turns out Mr. Met is short for Mr. Metabolic steroids.

...