Hey Jordan Harbinger here, welcome to Mini-Sode Monday here at the Art of Charm.

I'm happy to be here with you kicking off the week with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away.

That'll make you more magnetic and effective and out today I'm talking about my buddy Alex Coots you've heard on the show.

He's done a lot and he just complained I'm turning 30 pretty soon and it got me thinking about all the things that I've done but mostly all the things that I have not done and it made me realize how comparing yourself to other people.

It's just a never ending battle and there's no big news there right I mean a lot of us do this we catch ourselves we know it's unhealthy and either we knock it off or for many of us.

It becomes like a vice and not the kind of used to hold something although there's probably a pun in there somewhere but a vice like smoking drinking drugs or complaining which by the way if you're doing a lot of that is also a vice and it's especially unhealthy.

If you compare yourself to your friends and your family because if you do you constantly find yourself either bringing your friends quote unquote down to your level or you engage in this weird competitive relationship with them and so basically the success of your friend almost becomes some sort of personal tragedy for you.

Where it actually makes you feel bad about yourself instead of feeling good for your friend and that is super bad news for those of us that actually want to keep our friends around and by the way this is something we go really deep in in our podcast with Dr. Carol Dweck so if you haven't heard that yet the link is here in the show instead the healthiest thing we can do is appreciate where they are our friends and family what they've done and take that as a compliment not only to your value as a friend.

But realize that you're very fortunate to be considered a friend by successful folks so find motivation and appreciation in this instead of comparing yourself and measuring yourself and measuring your shortcomings by the accomplishments of others if you really want to get expert level at surrounding yourself with amazing people and high performers I highly recommend checking out the art of charm challenge at the art of charm calm slash challenge or if you're here in the states you can text charmed C H R M E D to 3 3 4 4 we'll go step by step.

Getting you to reach out to influencers higher ups high performers and those that inspire you so that you can become an inspirational high performing badass yourself.

Oh, before I let you go here's a little life pro tip little life act that I've been using to really good effect and I hope you find useful as well.

When you go to a new barber new restaurant bar whatever tip maybe twice as much as you normally would the first time this will take advantage of what's called the primacy effect.

So they'll remember you as a generous tip or a generous guy great customer whatever because that's your first impression just don't be a cheapo because after that you can you should tip well every time and but do that especially well the first time you do something and that is how you'll be remembered and you'll be treated differently as well it's very very useful I've used this for a really long time and really great effect.

Alright everybody have a great week.