Narcissists & Sex - The Intimacy Avoidance Protector Part

Trauma & Narcissism Redefined

Caroline Strawson

Narcissisticabuse, Health & Fitness, Narcissist, Self-improvement, Education, Recovery, Mental Health, Trauma

4.8 • 701 Ratings

🗓️ 5 October 2021

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today, we will talk about a topic that can be quite triggering. We will talk about intimacy while in a relationship with a narcissist, and we will look at lack of sexual desire from a trauma-informed perspective. To explore this topic, I’ll be fully vulnerable and share some of my own experiences with my ex-husband, and how I navigated these issues.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- How looking at intimacy with a narcissist from a trauma-informed perspective can help us better understand our reactions

- Why we must understand there is nothing wrong with ourselves when our body rejects intimacy with our partner

- What I learned about myself and my relationship with sex in my previous marriage

Understanding that frigidity, coldness, or lack of sexual desire are nothing else than our protector parts activating body responses to a perceived danger changes everything. Rather than thinking it is a conscious choice or something wrong with us, we must know that these reactions to sex are parts of us doing their job, which is keeping us alive.

Resources:

- Bella Article https://publishmystory.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/bella-caroline-strawson-nf-finished.jpg

- Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse

- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/

- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the narcissistic trauma recovery podcast. I'm Caroline Strawson and I'll be sharing with you
0:10.6	awareness, understanding and education about the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse to help you
0:17.0	thrive. I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are and I believe you.
0:22.4	And this show is all about taking you from trauma to transformation.
0:31.2	Hey there. So this is a topic that I think is probably something that I posted on my Instagram and
0:41.1	Facebook page literally yesterday. This is why I'm doing this episode. And I've had more
0:47.3	comments, more private messages than any other post I have ever, ever done on social media. Now, if you're not following me
0:57.9	on social media, please do so. I'm on Facebook as Caroline Stawson and on Instagram. Same thing,
1:05.0	Caroline Storson, overcoming narcissistic trauma. And I post every day, twice a day. A lot of my posts are from the heart.
1:14.2	A lot of them are educational. But equally, I do share a lot about my own experiences and my own
1:19.5	feelings. And this actually came about with something that I was really having to see a lot of
1:25.3	people in my community say. And it's quite a sensitive
1:29.3	topic. Could be a triggering subject for some. But I really felt when I wrote the post I did on
1:36.3	social media and was very vulnerable with this, that it was something that we need to talk about.
1:43.3	And it can happen to men and women, but obviously,
1:45.8	predominantly in my community, it's women. And obviously, I'm a woman. So I'm going to talk about it
1:49.7	from my perspective. That doesn't mean, though, that it doesn't happen for men either. And what I
1:56.8	want to talk about in this episode is when you're in a relationship with a narcissist,
2:03.0	and then the intimacy of that relationship goes away. And it goes away from your perspective.
2:12.3	And in the social media post that I put out, I spoke about being frigid, being cold, being approved,
2:21.0	those kinds of terminologies and words that maybe the narcissist has said to you as well,
2:27.5	because you're not engaging in intimate acts, having sex with the narcissist. You've got your walls up. It's the last thing on your
	...

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