Navigating Situationships: How to Get What You Really Want

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 6 January 2025

⏱️ 67 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Forrest and Dr. Rick explore "situationships" – those poorly defined, boundary-free relationships that exist in a gray area between friendship and committed dating. They unpack why these arrangements have become so common, examine the emotional trade-offs that keep people stuck, and share how to reclaim a sense of agency and build more authentic connections. The episode includes a role-play where Forrest plays someone struggling with situationships, while Dr. Rick draws on his decades of experience as a couples counselor to offer guidance. Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an additional 20% off: RickHanson.com/FWB You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:35: What is a situationship? 7:25: The benefits of a situationship, and relationship asymmetry 13:05: A roleplay of sharing your feelings 20:55: Uncertainty, wanting to be liked, and the fear of asking for what you want 31:10: Gears of rapport, and knowing your worth 38:05: Honoring yourself when a change is needed 48:05: How much to care, and the natural arc of change 52:35: Early indicators that someone is ready for a relationship 58:55: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to being well. I'm Forrest Hansen. If you're new to the podcast, thanks for joining us today. And if you've listened before, welcome back.
0:15.1	Today, for the first time in two years, three years, I'm here live and in person with my dad, clinical psychologist
0:21.8	Rick Hansen. How you doing, Dad? I'm great, and you don't look a day older from the last time I was
0:27.1	very well preserved. It's your fantastic genetics. I blame you and mom. So it's really cool to be
0:32.8	doing this with you in person. And today we had an idea to do something that was actually
0:36.7	spurred on by a response
0:38.2	to a previous episode. We recently recorded where I mentioned situation ships as part of a conversation
0:44.5	that we had about the pursuer, distance, or dynamic, this common model and relationships
0:48.9	where one person tends to approach more and the other tends to avoid a little bit more. You see
0:53.7	it very frequently,
0:55.3	for whatever reason, kind of an opposites attract thing. And I mentioned situation ships. You had no
1:00.0	idea what this word meant because you haven't been in the dating pool in like 40 years or something.
1:04.0	Something like that, maybe longer. And I just, for starters, we got a big response from people
1:08.8	saying, oh, God, please do a situation shift episode
1:11.3	where you explain this to Rick. And so I thought that would be fun just off the top. And I was also
1:15.7	really interested because this is a very common experience that people, particularly more Gen Z people,
1:21.3	are having these days around these kinds of poorly defined relationships where there aren't a lot
1:26.3	of clear agreements between the people involved.
1:28.8	And you are a long-time family therapist.
1:32.6	You've worked with a lot of couples.
1:33.7	And I just thought it would be cool to get some insights from you.
1:35.7	I'm thoroughly psyched about the topic.
	...

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