Limerence, Love, and Life Transitions: January Mailbag

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 13 January 2025

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dr. Rick and Forrest begin the mailbag by exploring limerence – an obsessive form of romantic attraction – and offer practical recommendations for working with one-sided infatuation. They then discuss what to do when romantic vulnerability feels unsafe, and how we can rebuild trust in others after traumatic experiences. The episode also tackles managing career transitions, dealing with social anxiety around positive interactions, and maintaining boundaries without being consumed by anger. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 0:50: What can I do when I experience limerence, or compulsive romantic attraction? 18:00: How can I learn to trust my partner and embrace the experience of happiness in my relationship? 26:50: How can I best think about the inherent uncertainty in the 2-3 years of preparation for a new career path? 37:55: How can I learn to “take in the good” when good experiences feel uncomfortable for me? 44:55: How can I maintain important boundaries in a way that doesn’t lead to me feeling too much anger? 56:40: Recap I am now writing on Subståack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to being well. I'm Forrest Hansen. If you're new to the show, thanks for listening today. And if you've listened before, welcome back. I'm joined today, as usual, by Dr. Rick Hansen. So, Dad, how are you doing today? I'm great. I always love the mailbag.
0:21.2	Awesome.
0:22.8	And always great to be with you, Forrest.
0:24.2	Thanks, dad.
0:24.4	Likewise.
0:28.0	And I'm also looking forward to answering some questions from our listeners.
0:32.3	It is always great to do these because we get really fantastic questions from people.
0:38.1	And if you'd like to have a question answered on a future episode of the podcast, The best way to do that is by signing up for our Patreon. It's patreon.com slash being well podcast. You can also find us essentially everywhere
0:44.1	on social media. And if you'd like to, you can send a email to contact at beingwellpodcast.com.
0:51.2	So the first question that we got, I'd love to hear your and Dr. Rick's perspectives on
0:56.8	working with limerence. I'm anxiously attached, and it's easy for me to fall into a kind of
1:01.5	obsession or preoccupation with somebody when I feel infatuated with them or attracted to them.
1:07.4	When I'm preoccupied in this way, it feels like the person is totally stuck in my head.
1:11.7	I just can't get them out. It's very hard for me to think of other things. I interpret everything
1:17.0	they do positively, and I'm fixated on my relationship with them. What can I do about this?
1:22.3	So what do you think about this, dad? And how do you actually heard the term limerence before I put it in
1:26.8	the podcast outlined for today?
1:29.6	I've never heard it before. I'm very familiar with the notion. There can even be a version of this
1:36.1	and abusive relationships in which one person is really trying to control the other person.
1:43.5	Another way I kind of relate to this is in terms
1:47.3	of what in self-psychology, which is an offshoot of psychoanalysis, pioneered by Cohut and
1:55.3	others, in which the love object functions as what's called a self-object, which is technical terminology
	...

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