Hi my gorgeous gals. Okay, so I already recorded this podcast, but I just went to the gym and I was thinking the entire time and wanted to come back and just say this really quick.

I was nervous isn't the right word hesitant to release this episode. Okay, because I felt like the last couple episodes have been quite negative.

Even if you know there's my humor surrounding them and whatever I feel like I have been in just a negative space and I fucking hate that.

I am not a negative person. I am 98% of the time a very happy upbeat person. However, I was not put on this planet to sugarcoat shit.

I was not given the opportunity to have a platform to sugarcoat anything or to make anyone feel self conscious in the fact that they think other people live these perfect lives never have problems never go through shit never have issues like that is actually the opposite of why I started this platform.

And I've said it before and I'll say it again like there are just so many people on the internet who make not not purposefully and sorry if you can hear Henry chewing on his dear and learn the background I can't edit that out.

But I feel like there's so many people on the internet who they don't do it on purpose like I said, but they is it subconsciously make other people feel self conscious.

Because all that they talk about are the glitz and the glitter and the glam and the beautiful life that they have in their perfect house and their perfect kids and their perfect face and that is not what I am here for if anyway.

So I just wanted you to know that like I'm I'm I'm I was thinking about not releasing this for a second just because I was like it's so negative.

But then I came back to like my truth and my truth is that I don't sugarcoat shit and this is real life and you know some of this episode sounds negative and you're kind of weight you're you're riding the wave of emotions that I've been going through in the last couple days.

And part of that is down in the dumps because that is my real life and I was down in the dumps the last couple days and and if that relates to someone then that's awesome.

So I could easily erase it I could not not post it I could get on here and be like it's going to be okay blah blah and I did change my mindset to being more positive which you'll hear in this fucking episode.

But anyway I just wanted to say like this is my truth right now I picture this platform this podcast whatever to go on for the rest of my life or until I get all wrinkly and all whatever but like not everything is perfect and upbeat and happy looks like sometimes it fucking sucks.

And I say this in the episode too but I'm forever grateful for this platform that I was given because it is like therapy to me and it's just talking out my feelings glad that you guys get to listen along.

Hopefully it helps someone also really quick one thing that I didn't mention that really has helped me the last couple days is I have a few different group chats with my closest people and I have asked them.

Hey guys on a scale of one to 10 one being like rock bottom and 10 being on top of the world how is everyone feeling today and having people honestly say I'm feeling like a three or I'm feeling like a nine whatever that is I had you know I asked everyone to say that and then I said.

Hey the ones aren't always going to be ones and the tens aren't always going to be tens and that's part of being in a circle with someone is you're literally all connected and you help the other if you're a 10 you help the ones come up and if you're a ones you reach out to the tens with zero fear of judgment and ask for help you know what I mean so I did that and then I said to one of my friends Alexia she was like hey I'm a 10 and I said I have.

I have taught myself to not feel any jealousy when in these kind of situations right when I'm like the other day I was a solid two she was a 10 hey why are you a 10 I need your goodness I need to know what good things are going on in this world so that I can come up with you and that I can smile for you and celebrate you and she was telling me about.

Oh it makes me emotional she's telling me about her pregnancy and how she had the best you know what are they called the scans the ultrasounds of the baby perfectly healthy and she is just so thankful that she gets to go home to her perfect husband and her perfectly healthy other baby and she was just like I feel like I'm on top of the world and it's one of the best days ever and I was having one of the worst days ever and just having that.

Connection and feel like I then turn like I was like beaming I was smiling ear to ear I was so fucking happy and just hearing other people in your life have amazing things happen it's like it switches your mindset and it can pull you out of a rut so anyway if it's two people if it's five people whatever it is ask other people how they're feeling and if you're a 10 and if you're a 9 don't feel afraid to share those things but also.

Make sure that you realize that sometimes you're going to be a 2 so it's like who can I surround myself with to to be in this circle so that we can all balance each other out you know what I mean so anyway.

I just wanted to say this before the episode started clearly my brain is everywhere so hope you.

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