Porn, Shame, and the Journey to Real Healing (with Nick Stumbo)
Dad Tired
Jerrad Lopes
5 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 14 April 2025
⏱️ 53 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Most Christian men wouldn’t call it an addiction. “It’s just something I struggle with…”
But what if that struggle is actually keeping you stuck?
In this episode, Nick Stumbo—Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries—shares his powerful story of addiction, shame, and the deeper healing Jesus offers.
We talk about:
Why confession isn’t the finish line
The 3 questions that revealed Nick’s addiction
What white-knuckling recovery really looks like
How trauma, performance, and shame feed the cycle
This isn’t just about porn. It’s about what your soul is really craving.
Learn more about Pure Desire Ministries: https://www.puredesire.org
Get Nick’s book Setting Us Free: https://amzn.to/3EtfY2P
Start your healing journey with Dad Tired: [https://www.dadtired.com]
Subscribe to the Dad Tired podcast for more episodes that help men lead their families well
A special thanks to today's sponsor: www.dwellbible.com/dadtired
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Let me ask you a couple of questions. |
| 0:01.5 | And these three questions changed my life. |
| 0:03.9 | He said, how long has it been a problem? |
| 0:05.5 | Number one. |
| 0:06.3 | And so I said, well, it's been over 15 years at this point. |
| 0:10.0 | He said, okay, number two, how many times have you tried to stop? |
| 0:14.1 | And I actually laughed a little because I was like, well, every time was the last time. |
| 0:18.4 | Literally every time was it. |
| 0:20.2 | And I was never going to do it again. |
| 0:21.6 | If I'm being honest, I've tried to stop hundreds if not thousands of times. |
| 0:25.6 | And he said, okay, third question, is it causing you or people you love significant amounts of pain? |
| 0:31.6 | And that's where it got serious because I said, yeah, I think if I don't quit, my wife will leave me. |
| 0:51.9 | Hey, guys, welcome back to the Dad Tired podcast. My name is Jared Lopes. I am the founder of Dad Tired, |
| 0:54.9 | also one of the host of the show. If you're brand new here, |
| 0:59.2 | just want to say welcome. We're a bunch of normal guys trying to figure out what it looks like for us to fall in love with Jesus and then help our families do the same. We are serious about finding |
| 1:03.9 | healing, whether that be from childhood wounds, our current addictions, or things that are tripping us up so that we can be the men that God's called us to |
| 1:11.5 | be. And so if that resonates with you at all, we would love for you to come join us, be part of |
| 1:16.2 | this community. You can go to dattire.com, click the community tab, and you'll see ways that you can |
| 1:21.4 | jump in and dive into what we have going on. So again, glad that you're here and I'd love for you to stick around. If you're like me, |
| 1:28.7 | you probably want to be in the word more and you feel like you get stuck on that sometimes or |
| 1:33.7 | don't know where to start. I've been joking with my friends that I'm going through a four-year |
| 1:37.4 | Bible reading plan, which is not really a Bible reading plan, at least not one that I found. |
... |
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