Redux: Dark Fantasies, Part 1

Dear Sugars

WBUR

Boston, Wbur, Sugar, Cheryl Strayed, Society & Culture, Dear, Relationships, Advice, Steve Almond

4.6 • 5.9K Ratings

🗓️ 31 August 2024

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This episode was originally released on January 13, 2018.

Orgies. Sex in public. Incest. These are the things that some of us think about in the dark. Taboo fantasies can be exciting, but they can also be the source of our deepest shame. In this two-part series on sexual fantasies, the Sugars read letters from people who want to turn off the thoughts that turn them on.

Dr. Ian Kerner, a psychotherapist and sexuality counselor, helps the Sugars answer a letter from a woman who calls herself “Fed Up With Fantasy.” She writes, “Ever since I started being a sexual being I’ve had terrible fantasies. Incest of every kind. Teachers having sex with their underage students. Gangbangs in public bathrooms. I cannot get turned on without thinking of these story lines. Did something bad happen to me that I have repressed so much I don’t even have a hint of it?” she asks. “And how do I make it stop?”

Dr. Kerner and the Sugars explore where dark fantasies come from and offer “Fed Up With Fantasy” ways she can share them with her boyfriend. Dr. Kerner specializes in sex therapy and couples therapy. He’s also The New York Times best-selling author of “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman.”

Transcript

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0:00.0	W-B-U-R Podcasts, Boston. The universe has good news for the lost, lonely, and heart sick. The sugars are here, speaking straight into your ears.
0:22.0	I'm Steve Alman. I'm Steve Aul Strade. This is dear sugars.
0:26.0	Oh dear song, won't you please?
0:35.0	Share some little sweet days with me.
0:40.0	I check my bell drives every day.
0:50.0	Oh, in the sugar, you see in my way.
0:58.4	Hi Steve, I'm sure.
1:00.4	Okay, so I'm gonna tell a little story We got to go back to the summer of 1997.
1:05.5	Oh yeah.
1:06.5	I was living for the summer in Touse, New Mexico, and I was dating Mr. Sugar, Brian, the person to whom I am now married.
1:16.0	And we were great lovers and great friends, like we are still.
1:20.0	Yes, you are.
1:21.0	But you know, and by the summer of 97 we've been together a couple
1:23.8	years so and I was you know I wanting to to keep things interesting and I and I
1:29.7	also deepen our intimacy so we're on a walk and I get this idea that we should each
1:35.1	share with each other a sexual fantasy because until then you know to me and I
1:40.6	think I still believe this I thought sexual fantasy was this very private realm.
1:45.9	You don't dare tell anyone what you're thinking. But I thought, what better person to tell
1:50.8	than my lover?
1:52.4	Yeah.
1:53.4	So I say to him, let's each share one fantasy on our walk.
1:58.4	We're walking along.
	...

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