The essential with anyone I date is that they are available, physically or emotionally.

If they are not, it doesn't matter how much connection, chemistry and attraction I have for this person.

It's utterly irrelevant. Should you date someone or continue to date someone who is still getting over an X? This is a question

I get asked a lot. People wondering, is there a certain amount of time I should leave it for?

How do I know if someone is actually emotionally available? So we're going to be talking today

about the people who have real potential and the people

who make really bad bets for your time, your energy and your emotions.

I'm also going to tell you something that people in this position do that makes them

incredibly appealing and even makes them appear to be emotionally available, when in fact they are the exact opposite.

So stay tuned for that.

Let's deal first with the big misconception,

thinking that it's about time,

that if someone has been broken up for six months or a year,

that must be okay, but someone who is fresh out of a breakup is a bad person to invest in.

The reality is that there are people who have been broken up with someone for a year

who are still very much not over that person, and then there are people that have been

broken up for three weeks that are completely done with that person. There's also misconceptions about how the length of a relationship can affect things.

We often associate long relationships with taking a long time to get over.

But there are people who have been stale relationships, who leave after years, and have a fine time moving on.

There are other people who have only been dating someone for a month

and are truly heartbroken for a long time afterwards. So time is very misleading and a bad thing

to base your decision on when deciding to invest in someone like this. So if it's not necessarily

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