(Rewind): If You Want More From Someone Who’s Not Ready DO NOT CHASE Do THIS Instead
Love Life with Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey
4.8 • 2.9K Ratings
🗓️ 14 March 2025
⏱️ 15 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Have you ever dated someone who’s so hard to stay away from EVEN THOUGH they’re not interested in a relationship and you know you should keep your distance? It’s like a drug . . . or the worst kind of junk food . . . even after you swear it off for good, your resolve crumbles the moment they reach out.
When you’re in this vulnerable position, the hope that they may change and that things could be different is what drags you back in. And before you know it, you go right back to feeling powerless—holding on to someone who’s not giving you what you need. So how can you break this cycle once and for all? Don’t miss today’s brand-new video!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Grieving and safety is so much better than staying with a person from the archives that I think is really going to |
| 0:39.7 | help you today. Check it out and I'll speak to you at the end of the episode. Matt, the person I've |
| 0:50.2 | fallen for says they're not ready but they keep wanting to stay in touch and won't let me go. |
| 0:56.2 | I'm naturally anxiously attached and I'm suffering every day having him in my life, but knowing |
| 1:02.6 | he doesn't want a relationship with me. I've tried doing no contact and staying away, but it never |
| 1:08.8 | lasts. I end up reaching out to him or replying to his messages to me, |
| 1:14.0 | and everything gets rekindled. Help. So let's start with some important fundamentals about this. |
| 1:23.4 | You're in a situation where the other person's vision is different from yours. In this case, |
| 1:30.7 | his vision is, I don't want a relationship right now. I'm not ready. And yours is that you |
| 1:35.5 | absolutely do want a relationship. Now, that immediately puts you on someone else's timeline, |
| 1:42.7 | not on your own. So we have to start by seeing that for what |
| 1:45.9 | it is. It's a departure from what you want for yourself by keeping this person in your life or by |
| 1:53.8 | allowing them to keep you in theirs. Now the fact that this person doesn't want a relationship or |
| 1:59.0 | doesn't feel ready doesn't make them a bad person. |
| 2:01.3 | In fact, it would probably be easier if this was a bad person. It would make things more clear-cut. |
| 2:07.9 | But when someone isn't a bad person, they just want something different from you. It's very tempting to keep them in your life. |
| 2:15.6 | When they say, I don't want to give you up, |
| 2:18.1 | because that's what happens a lot of the time, right? |
| 2:19.8 | When someone says they're not ready, they say, |
| 2:21.3 | but I don't want to lose you. |
| 2:22.8 | Can we stay in touch? |
| 2:24.2 | Can we still talk? |
... |
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