(Rewind): The BIG SIGNS You Should KEEP TRYING With Someone You're Dating

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 8 December 2023

⏱️ 8 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Have you ever wondered what the right amount of effort to put in with someone is?

Should you let them know you’d like to go on a date with them? And what about after the date. . .

Should you let them know you’d like to see them again if you felt the date went well but they're not being proactive about setting up another one?

Where is the line between showing someone you like them, and chasing someone who’s simply not that interested?

It can be tricky. But I want to make it simple.

You may have heard me say, “Invest in those who invest in you.” But that could leave you wondering to yourself: “Fine Matthew, but so often that means I’m doing nothing because no one is investing in me! And doesn’t someone need to take the first step to invest something if anything is ever going to happen?”

It’s a valid point. I’ll show you exactly how to solve this at the end of the episode, so make sure you listen all the way through.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Is the investment equal or do you always feel like you're the one investing a lot more than that person is? Oh, Hey everyone it's Matthew Hussey with the Love Life Podcast.
0:27.0	Thank you so much for being here. I think you're going to enjoy this clip. It's a classic from the archives.
0:35.0	Check it out and don't forget if you can leave us a review on iTunes, it would mean the world. It helps us spread the word about this podcast.
0:42.0	All right, let's get into the episode.
0:47.6	So last week I ended with the conclusion
0:51.6	on a bunch of terms like ghosting,
0:53.5	zombies, haunting, that they all just represented low investment
0:58.0	and therefore were all indicative of a central problem,
1:01.8	which was that we tend to invest in people based on how much we like them,
1:06.0	not based on how much they are investing in us.
1:10.0	And I've said this ad nauseum over the course of the last decade of my life.
1:14.0	The people that follow me a lot will be able to repeat this phrase easily because I say it so much.
1:19.6	Invest in those who invest in you. Don't invest in someone based on how much you like them.
1:25.0	But there is a challenge to this that I think is interesting because it adds a little nuance.
1:31.0	Someone could easily say, but Matthew, and by the way someone did say this, I was on a
1:35.3	podcast with Lisa Biliu on her Women of Impact podcast, I am not a woman of impact, but I graciously
1:42.1	was allowed to come on the podcast as an honorary male.
1:44.8	She said to me upon hearing this, I love that, but doesn't that get you into a kind of
1:49.3	standoff with someone where you're both holding your gun getting waiting for the other person to draw
1:55.1	before you do anything can it lead to a situation where relationships are simply
1:59.1	transactions where you wait for somebody else to invest before you do anything at all.
2:05.0	This is where a principal comes in to temper this idea.
	...

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