Just because somebody's ideal on paper, it doesn't mean they're ideal for you.

Those are very different things.

It's a non sequitur.

He has great qualities.

He's right for me.

No, that's a huge jump. I know what happens. You go for months, maybe even years without meeting someone you're truly attracted to.

And then out of nowhere, a guy comes along who you find yourself drawn to on every level.

But, after an initial attraction, this guy disappears. He stops being

responsive, he goes cold, and you're left wondering why this depressing scenario

took place. Why isn't the guy you want interested in you?

Here are five possible reasons. Number one, instead of falling for the real person, you've fallen for an ideal.

This means that you have a guy in front of you who has great qualities. Maybe you bond intellectually, maybe he likes art and you like art,

you like the same movies, you find him very attractive, and because he has a few qualities you really like,

you start to paint this picture of him as being ideal and it's one of the most

dangerous things you can do because just because somebody's ideal on paper it

doesn't mean they're ideal for you those are very different things it's a

it's a non sequitur. He has great qualities. He's right for me.

No, that's a huge jump. In the middle there is the whole part where he chooses you,

where he says, yes, I want a relationship with you I know what I want in life and it's you

when that part isn't there he cannot be ideal number two you don't keep up your

standards with the guys you like.

Look, it's easy to have standards when you don't care if somebody leaves.

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