Real confidence isn't the ability to say no to things you don't want.

Real confidence is the ability to say no to things you do want when they're not right for you. Hey everybody. It's Matthew Hussie with the Love Life podcast. I am excited to share this

clip with you today. Let's get into it.

I wanted to talk today about one of the most common mistakes that we make when we're really

excited about someone, we're attracted, and we want to bring them closer to us. We want to

turn it into something lasting. And maybe we feel

like that person is either a little bit out of reach or we feel like we're not entirely sure

of how they feel about us. And we find ourselves investing more and more in them to try to secure

the relationship.

In the process, what happens is the things that are important in our life right now,

whether it's our friends, our family, our hobbies, the things that give us a sense of

value and identity in our lives, those things start to fade into the background as we make

this person the focus of all of our attention. Why do we do this? Well, when we really want to find

love and we suddenly meet someone who seems to epitomize everything we've been looking for. We've decided, based on this

person's qualities, characteristics, what they look like, how they act, that this is the love we've

been looking for. All of a sudden it feels like there is nothing more important in the world than

securing this thing. And we do the one thing in this moment that is the opposite

of what we should be doing. We should be grounding ourselves in the things that are important

in our own life, connecting to these things that give us a sense of worth outside of a person.

And yet we lose connection with all of those things.

And we get drawn into the gravitational pull

of how do I please this person?

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