This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio.

Hello, this is Frank Skinner, on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Alan Cochran. Now, we

are not live, so do not text the show, please. But you can follow us at Frank on the radio

on Twitter and Instagram, or you can email us via the Absolute Radio website. So all that

is still functional. Hello, guys. Hello. Hello. Hello. Because obviously I can't see you,

there is a little sparkle happens on the left ventricle of my heart when you reply, because

I'm a guard, they're there. So many things can go wrong. Well, it's lovely to hear you,

Sal Wehrfang. Yes, I see what it makes me feel like doing the show like this. For those

of you who don't know how we, I am literally sitting, honched over my linen basket with a laptop

and a microphone. And I feel like, do you remember you used to see those in films? There was a

bloke somewhere in Africa, like a sweaty white guy, somewhere in Africa in Carkeys, and he was

on it like a short wave radio trying to get through to someone in Zimbabwe or something for help.

That's what it feels like. It feels like one of those radio hams or whatever you would call them.

Except John Lewis Laundry basket. Yeah, but you know what I think it might actually be,

a John Lewis. Did you recognise that from the photo? Was that just your instinct?

No, it just categorised you. I'm very good at things like this.

Yeah. You know there was a cricketer called John Lewis who had a brief spell for England before he

went back to County Cricky, and he was a bowler and they used to say John Lewis never knowingly

under-bulled. That was great. That was a great moment when the person said that.

Just wasn't quite good enough. What do you want? I've tried to give these up now because they

can drag you down a bit, but I've been watching the sort of nightly press conference that Dominic

Rab or someone will preside. Oh yes. They usually get a lady on of some kind. They always have a lady

...