S24E9: The Harmful Effects of Being the Good Girl

Cultivating H.E.R. Space: Uplifting Conversations for the Black Woman

Cultivating H.E.R. Space

Education, Self-improvement

4.7 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 29 November 2024

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lady! Have you ever been called the good girl? Are you perceived as dependable, reliable, and relatively harmless? Do people expect perfection from you and when you fall short from those expectations do, they make you feel shame and guilt? And, what happens to your good girl image once you decide to stick up for yourself or say no? Is the backlash swift and painful? If anything mentioned sounds familiar, then this week’s episode is for you.

Terri and Dr. Dom share their experiences with being the good girl and why those perceptions and thereby responsibilities can be harmful as we mature into adulthood. Whether you are the oldest child, or you came from a strict family, or you had to figure out your upbringing on your own; we’ve all experienced the societal burden of being the good girl. The good news is now that we’re grown women we have the power of choice and can choose to untangle the deleterious programming we’ve been surrounded by through family, media, and society.

Dr. Dom and Terri outline some of the harmful effects of the good girl mindset this episode. Don’t be surprised if some of the impacts are so subversive that they touch a tender spot in you. But, you know how we do. Check into the Aftershow for tips on how to heal and improve your life now that you know that you can be amazing, badass, and awesome without the low mantle of being good.

Lady, this internal work can tough but it is necessary for growth and self-actualization. Check out our Cultivating H.E.R. Space shop for journals, pillows, latte mugs, and apparel to ease some of the awakenings you’re having while listening. They also make for great gifts this holiday season!

Quote of the Day:
"Being unapologetic means that I will be all of me. I will no longer shrink or compromise myself by playing small so others will not feel insecure in my presence.”
– Lisa Nichols

Wisdom Wednesdays with Terri
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary

Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri
Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC

Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram: @herspacepodcast
Facebook: @herspacepodcast
Website: cultivatingherspace.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	What has no beginning, middle, or end, but touches every continent.
0:04.9	If you answered the ocean, you're right.
0:07.5	With the 2050 investor podcast, let's dive into the depth and mysteries of the oceans
0:12.6	to understand how they impact our climate and food, as well as the habitat of both animals and humans.
0:19.2	My name is Kokuagbubloa, global head of economics, cross-asset and quant research at Societ
0:23.8	General.
0:24.4	Each month, I bring you a survey of the macroeconomic trends to better face the challenges
0:29.1	of tomorrow.
0:31.1	On this week's episode of cultivating her space, when you are constantly engaging in
0:37.3	people-pleasing, you are burned out.
0:39.9	You will have low self-worth and oftentimes you find yourself resenting other people.
0:51.8	When truly the person that you are really most resentful of is yourself for not
0:58.5	speaking up and not advocating for what you want and need.
1:05.8	Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration, or a fresh perspective. If you have any
1:13.2	aha moments or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a review to let us know we're on
1:19.4	the right track. Also, we've released episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe on iTunes
1:26.2	and visit cultivatingherspace.com to access our
1:30.3	exclusive aftershow and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.
1:36.3	Welcome to Cultivating HerSpace, a podcast dedicated to uplifting women like you.
1:42.6	We're your host. Dr. Dominique Broussard, a college professor and psychologist,
1:48.0	and Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker.
1:51.7	In a world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood,
	...

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