S3, Ep 1 Friendship Therapy: Reciprocity in Friendship - how fear can get in the way of vulnerability

Friendship Therapy

Emma Reed Turrell

Society & Culture, Relationships, Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 18 November 2024

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens. To kick off season three, Emma chats to Poppy, who is struggling with a friendship dilemma that many of us can relate to.

We've all been on the receiving end of a friend who has ditched us temporarily for a new relationship; perhaps we've been that friend who has, for a period of time, chosen to spend more time with a new partner than with our friendship group. But what happens when history seems to repeat itself over and over again?

This week, Emma and Poppy talk about a particular friend who continuously chooses to drop her when the offer of a new relationship is on the horizon, and how that feels for Poppy. Using a Gestalt therapy technique, Emma takes Poppy through a therapy exercise live on the podcast to help her make sense of how a conversation with her friend might play out, and what the resolution might look like.

Together, Emma and Poppy discover what Poppy's motivations in this friendship are, and why it might be more about feelings of fear, than feelings of frustration between the two of them.

Find out more about Gestalt Therapy techniques: https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/gestalt-therapy-the-empty-chair-technique#:~:text=The%20Empty%20Chair%20Technique%20is,internal%20conflicts%20or%20unfinished%20business.

If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form:
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Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook.

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Social media:

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell
Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod
Email: [email protected]

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to this week's episode of Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens.
0:08.4	Well, we've probably all been on the receiving end of a friend who has ditched us temporarily for a new relationship as they travel off into their honeymoon phase,
0:18.9	possibly to come back with war stories or to even
0:22.4	grow a friendship circle as we're introduced to their new partner. Maybe we've been that friend
0:26.7	who has, for a period of time, chosen to spend more time with a new partner than with our
0:32.0	friendship group. But what happens when it seems to happen over and over again, as is the case for Poppy?
0:39.6	This week I'll be talking to Poppy about a particular friend who continuously chooses to drop her
0:46.2	when the offer of a new relationship is on the horizon and how it feels for Poppy, the sense of
0:52.9	abandonment and rejection and replacement,
0:55.8	especially after years of consistently showing up for her and investing in her as a good friend.
1:02.4	Let's see what Poppy discovers about her motivations in her friendship and why this might be
1:10.0	more about feelings of fear than feelings of frustration.
1:13.9	I hope you enjoy it.
1:19.1	Hi, Poppy. How can I help?
1:21.7	Hi, Emma. I've had a friend for, since we were about 12 now. I'm 29 now. So it's been a, had a friend for a long time.
1:30.5	Yeah. And she's dropped me for a boyfriend. Oh, Poppy. Yeah. Is this the first time that's happened?
1:39.6	I wish I could say yes, but it's not. It's happened on a few occasions, but I guess previously when it's happened, we've been in a state where we've not been as close.
1:50.6	Like we've always been in each other's lives, but it had a bit more distance.
1:54.8	So the ghosting didn't feel so intense as it does this time because I guess at this point in time I was seeing
2:02.1	her all the time so then it's kind of gone from like a hundred to nothing so the absence is
2:08.3	noticed a lot more yeah of course it is that makes perfect sense so you've been friends for a long time
2:14.6	yeah yeah my she's my longest friend, but I'm still friends with.
	...

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