You're listening to the microversion of the Savage Love Cast at Savage.loaf.

Define cheating is unforgivable, define everything is cheating, and then complain about being single.

Or define cheating is unforgivable, define everything is cheating, and then wonder why you can't

make anything last longer than three months. Look, people, if you want your relationships to last,

and sometimes when I read the constantly expanding list of things that count as cheating,

I wonder whether people want their relationships to last, or anybody else's relationship to last,

not to go all conspiracy theorist here, but I sometimes think those people who are out there online

constantly adding to the already long list of things that count as cheating are a secret,

deep state, deep single, cabal, a bitter people out to destroy everybody else's relationships.

Don't listen to the deep single, cabal, take my advice instead, if you want your relationships

to last, have a broad definition of sex and a narrow definition of cheating. The more that counts

as sex and the context of your relationship, the more sex you're going to have, the more sex you

have with your partner, the better you're going to feel about the relationship, statistically speaking

on average, individual results may vary. If oral, counts, and hand jobs count, and busting out

the vibrators count, and watching porn together side by side counts, if it doesn't always have to rise

to the level of penetrative sex to count, you will have more sex and couples that have more sex

tend to be happier. But while keeping your definition of sex broad, keep your definition of

cheating narrow, fucking someone else, cheating. We can all agree about that in the context of

when the Nogamous commitment fucking someone else counts. But looking at porn, some people think

that's cheating, some people think thinking about somebody else during sex is cheating,

some people think masturbating, not even to porn, just to memories or fantasies is cheating.

I've gotten panicky emails from people who are convinced or were convinced again by that deep

...