Savage Lovecast Episode 878

Savage Lovecast

Dan Savage

Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Sexuality, Relationships

4.7 • 6.3K Ratings

🗓️ 22 August 2023

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“Son, I’m open.” A gay man has a great relationship with his son. They hang out together, and the son drops by all the time. The caller has a boyfriend who also get along with his son. But what the son doesn’t know, is that they have an open relationship, so sometimes the caller welcomes other men into his house. What if his son drops by then? Should he explain his open relationship ahead of time? A woman’s boyfriend proposed to her in a public, grand gesture. She hated it. They had never discussed marriage before, and the caller is skeptical of both weddings and the concept of wedlock. She said yes, only to avoid causing a scene. What now? Should she rescind her “yes?” Or negotiate with her clueless puppy dog of a fiancé? On the Magnum, let’s reconsider trigger warnings, shall we? Dan and journalist Jill Filipovic talk about her piece in the Atlantic “I Was Wrong About Trigger Warnings.” She and Dan talk about how content warnings are often nothing more than performative virtue signaling, and water down the times when they are genuinely necessary and useful. Agree, disagree, or agree to disagree. And, a woman found out that her ex from 10 years ago got married. She had been carrying a torch for him this whole time. Although her pal knew she harbored these feelings, she still sent the caller photos from his wedding, and the caller is furious with her friend for doing so. It ruined her vacation! How to move on? [email protected]. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now for Veteran’s Day, get 25% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE, and use the offer code HelixPartner25.

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to the microversion of the Savage Love cast at Savage.loaf.
0:23.2	A new DS relationship model just dropped, reuse,
0:27.5	and a mini-sex panic dropped with it. Okay, first, what is free use?
0:32.7	It's a kink that falls under the CNC umbrella, CNC, consensual non-consent,
0:37.8	in a free-use relationship. The sub agrees to always be available for sex. The DOM is free to use
0:44.8	the sub sexually at any time, and the sub can't say no because the sub said yes to never saying no.
0:52.7	That's how it works in theory. Or, as with so many kinks, that's how it works when people fantasize
0:58.9	about it or dirty talk about it. Thanks to social media, fantasies and dirty talk are no longer
1:04.6	restricted to the bedroom or the playroom or the backseat or the people within ear shot.
1:09.6	Kinky people, some of them, not all of them, some of them like to show off on social media,
1:15.0	which can be good, normalizing kinks can help people feel less ashamed of their own kinks.
1:20.9	But everyone being open about kinks does rob kink of its power, which is fueled by the tension
1:27.5	between who we pretend to be in public and who we are in private. Normalizing kinks can help some
1:32.3	people feel less ashamed of their kinks or discover their kinks and then enjoy their kinks and
1:37.0	the connections their kinks can bring into their lives. But everybody being open about their kinks
1:41.9	all over social media can rob kink if it's dark power, which is fueled by the tension between
1:48.0	who we pretend to be in public and who we are in private. But you know what? That's for another
1:54.0	day. What I want to talk about today are the videos. Women in free use relationships or women
2:00.0	who want to be in free use relationships have been posting videos to TikTok and people are
2:06.3	concerned because these videos are all over TikTok and girls and young women are all over TikTok
2:11.9	and people are worried that young women are going to stumble over fantasy depictions and
2:15.6	or dirty talk about free use relationships and want to be in them. And the videos which aren't
	...

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