I'm so excited to be here today especially because I was not here last week, which I am so sorry for, but I'm really excited for today's episode because we are talking about summer. I'm going to be sharing a few things that I want to accomplish this summer, kind of like a summer bucket list.

Some thoughts about body image as well as a few other things that I've just been on my mind as it relates to starting off the season. I didn't realize that the first day of summer was last week, I believe, when I'm reporting this and so wanted to do some sort of like summer themed podcast episode. I really love listening to these and if you guys watch my YouTube channel, you know that I love the changing seasons and I really appreciate the fact that each season has something new to bring and I think it's a good time to kind of reevaluate priorities and just think about the time ahead

and that is what today's episode is going to be. I also have a few things I wanted to share in the beginning of this episode too, just kind of like a little intro. And yeah, I'm just really happy to be here. I'm really excited to chat. I've been thinking a lot lately and just been really looking forward to what's to come over the next few months and so I hope you guys are doing well. I wanted to start off by sharing my high love the week and these kind of also like always correspond to what's been going on in my life over the past week because obviously I wasn't here last week so I feel like there's a little bit to catch up

on but last week we were in Rhode Island and we were actually there for probably about a week and a half. Yeah, we left Thursday morning and then we got back Friday night. So I guess it was only basically a week, but it was so much fun. If you guys don't know, Aiden, his family is actually from Rhode Island. So he was born in Providence, but would grow up going to the speech called Watchill Beach, which I feel like it's infamous because Taylor Swift has a house there and every time I visit there, people are like, oh my gosh, like do you know Taylor Swift has a house there. It's just so funny.

I think as he's been going there his whole life before she bought that house there, but now that's what it's known for. It's this like really quiet beach town and it was so nice to get to spend some time with his family there because we do live quite far away from his family now. It's really sweet to get to spend just a lot of time and I'm really excited because his family is kind of all over the place. So his dad lives in Nebraska. His mom lives up in the Northeast and so I believe the fall. So I mean that we've been wanting to do is do a road trip up to visit his mom in Vermont

and actually bring cash because she has a cabin there. It has a huge backyard in the woods. It's just a really calming, peaceful place. There really isn't a ton of service there. And I think we're going to try to road trip up there to bring cash because we've always wanted to do that. We were talking about that in Rhode Island, but getting to spend time in Rhode Island was just so nice. And I think the thing that I appreciate now, especially after being married for a couple years, it definitely takes time to kind of get to know someone's family and to really feel like you're a part of the family. But the more I'm around his family now, the more it does

feel like my family as well. And I just feel more comfortable. And I think that that takes time. And I get a lot of questions, especially on my advice episodes about kind of joining in with another family when you get married. And you're in laws and just those family relationships. And I just want to encourage you guys that it does take a while sometimes to kind of feel totally like you're a part of the family. I just really appreciate that I feel like I'm part of the family now. And it's really sweet to get to visit his grandma is up there too. And yeah, watch hills just such a beautiful

beach to I posted a lot over all my stories. I have a highlight too. If you're ever visiting that area, we always see a lot of different places. And yeah, it was really sweet getting to do that. And I also wanted to say that my love for the week. So I'm recording this on Sunday. It is June 26 and my birthday is July 1st, which is on Friday. I'm turning 24. And I'm not like a huge birthday person. I don't love giant birthday parties. I've never been the kid who had, you know, those big birthday parties were all your friends came.

I always preferred to just keep it really low key. I would celebrate with my family. And because my birthdays in the summer, it wasn't that thing where everyone celebrates at school and someone brings a cake. Like I just, I don't like being, which is so funny because I do YouTube. But I don't like being the center of attention. It kind of makes me uncomfortable. And I don't love just big grand things. I love doing small things for my birthday. But I've never been just this huge birthday person because I know a lot of people are like that. But I talk about this in a vlog I'm posting on Tuesday. But

something I've been dealing with lately for the past few birthdays that I've had, I think this really started when I turned 21. That's the last time I remember it.

Or just these general kind of birthday blues of when your birthday comes around feeling. I don't even know why I feel this way. I don't think it's because I'm getting older because I don't fear getting older. I don't fear

like, oh, my life is going to die when I turn 30 or something. I very much believe that again, life comes in seasons and every season has a new thing to appreciate. And

I'm also not someone who has a lot of lead up to my birthday. Like I'm not expecting all these things. And so I don't know what this feeling comes from. But

I've just been feeling very down lately and almost like this sense of birthday blues. And I think part of it may be because

with each year, I think there's a lot of pressure to kind of accomplish certain things and to be at a certain stage of your life. And

sometimes when you put a lot of expectations on yourself, I mean, for me, expectations that are different than what God has planned for my life.

It's easy to lose sight of what matters in just to feel kind of pressure and feel like you're not where you want to be. And I think that the more I've been thinking about this, that might be part of it.

Yeah, I've just been feeling kind of gloomy lately. And I don't really love the idea that I'm hoping that I just kind of want my birthday to pass at this point, which sounds bad. But I don't know why this started, especially when I started turning 21. I remember as my birthday in New York City. It was really fun. I remember hanging out with my roommate Rose. We had a good time. But for some reason, I just felt like this general dull sense of gloom. And I actually looked this up because I wanted to see if this was just me thinking this or if this was a phenomenon.

And it actually is a pretty common thing. And so I wanted to read this is from a random website. It's called science of people.com. And it says that people experience sadness for a lot of different reasons. So one is aging.

So birthdays can remind us that we are aging in other year. It's official day that we're one year older, even though the day before birthday, we feel virtually the same.

It's at high expectations. Sometimes you're disappointed by not having expectations met by a birthday party celebration or gifts.

Lack of accomplishments, social pressure. It says, have you ever felt like all the birthdays and movies look really good?

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