Sexual Integrity for Singles

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 23 May 2023

⏱️ 54 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

It’s very tempting to look to others to tell us how to live–to gauge our success by how well we live up to others’ expectations and to measure our value by the approval of others. There is a time for thinking this way; it’s how we all start out—dependent on others to tell us how to live. But, if we want to mature and grow into greater personal responsibility and wisdom, we must be willing to author our own lives. It’s what maturity requires. It means having the courage to take our own ideas and the ideas of others and really evaluate them. To determine for ourselves if ideas are good and truthful, and then to align our choices with what we ourselves genuinely believe is best. Forging a deeper internal reference is critical if we want to be at peace with ourselves and if we want to be capable of intimacy, of letting someone truly know who we are. I recently joined Oliver and Lindsey of the Singled In Podcast for a conversation about the exceptional power of choice and its relationship to self-authoring, especially as it relates to being at peace with our sexuality. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: -Shifting from an external to an internal moral compass - Psychological maturation -Self-authoring and self-determination -The power of CHOICE -How relationships pressure growth -Sexual integration for singles

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships, sexuality, a gathering place for single members of the
0:30.6	Church and Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in their 30s and 40s, also known as
0:35.3	mid-singles. I am Oliver. And I'm Lindsay. Today we are joined by Dr. Jennifer Finlaysen-5. We're so excited to have her. We're going to be talking about sexuality for singles and we'll dive into more of that topic as we get going. But yeah, we're delighted that she was able to join us.
0:53.0	She can tell us a little bit about yourself,
0:54.3	that she is a renowned sex therapist
0:56.4	in the LDS Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints community.
1:00.8	And I know a lot of people who really love and rely on her wisdom as figuring things out for themselves and for partnerships.
1:07.5	So I love her podcasts and everything that she offers and taking a little course of hers called the art of desire.
1:14.8	We could talk about that later.
1:15.8	Talk about some of her other resources and link them as well.
1:19.5	But yeah, having you to tell us a little bit about yourself in your background?
1:23.0	Well, sure. So let's see, I'll try to give the short-ish version, but I grew up in Vermont. My parents are both from Idaho.
1:31.0	I was a student at BYU studied psychology and
1:34.5	women studies and then got my PhD in counseling psychology. Wrote my
1:38.4	dissertation on LDS women and sexual agency. So I was really interested in the question of in this sort of sexually
1:46.8	and socially conservative ethic,
1:49.2	were women, did women basically feel repressed
1:52.4	in their sexuality when they moved into marriage or were women freer to sort of claim sexuality in that legitimate context and you know so I did that research that's led to me doing a lot of
2:06.7	teaching and presenting both online courses and podcasting because I've done a lot of
2:12.1	work with couples and individuals and both their faith in a high standard around sexuality while thinking about how to approach it in a way that doesn't create
2:28.0	repression and fear and anxiety and self-hagrid or ways to kind of work as an antidote to a lot of those received messages.
2:35.3	So that's who I am and yeah happy to be here.
	...

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