Star Witnesser

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.8 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 1 May 2024

⏱️ 75 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Should Dorin have to join her pianist husband at his post-concert meet and greets? He says yes! She says she feels awkward! Who's right? Who's wrong?

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bail of Jesse Thorn. This week, Star Witnesser.
0:07.8	Doreen brings the case against her husband, Shiong.
0:11.7	Shiong is a classical pianist.
0:14.1	He wants Doreen to be there when he greets the audience after his shows.
0:19.2	She feels awkward.
0:20.9	They thank her for his performance.
0:24.0	Doreen would rather skip the meet and greet and read a book.
0:28.0	Who's right, who's wrong?
0:29.0	Only one can decide.
0:30.0	Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure
0:34.9	cultural reference. I will speak for you, Bailiff Jesse. I speak for all the
0:40.0	mediocrities in the world. I am their champion. I am their patron saint. Mediocrities everywhere.
0:46.8	I absolve you. I absolve you. I absolve you. I absolve you all.
0:53.0	Bail of Jesse Thorne, please swear the litigants in.
0:56.0	Please rise and raise your right hands.
0:59.0	Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God or whatever?
1:05.0	Yes.
1:06.0	Yes.
1:07.0	Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that he himself is a
1:12.0	woodwind. Yes.
1:14.8	Judge Hodgman, you may proceed.
1:17.4	I am not merely a woodwind having played the clarinet until the age of 18, but also a string having played the viola at the same time.
	...

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