Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman Podcast. I'm Bail of Jesse Thorne. This week, Submerger and Acquisitions.

Fatius brings the case against his wife Kelsey.

Fatius loves cold plunging.

He tried cold plunging at home,

but doesn't have what he needs to keep it icy enough.

He wants to invest in some new equipment.

But Kelsey says, it isn't practical.

Who's right, who's wrong, only one can decide.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom

and presents an obscure cultural reference.

My little boy is four years old.

You know what he was doing?

I caught him twice.

In the garden we have chickens.

And he was just eating everything.

It's strengthening the immune system. He was eating he was eating chicken poop

That was me at the moment. But that's only our concept nature knows

nature knows how to make him strong and good, and then we become adults and we don't know what to eat. No need. Follow nature. Baileth Jesse Thorne. Swear them in.

Thaddeus and Kelsey please rise and raise your right hands.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth, so help you,

God or whatever?

...