Holy drug the tea! They knew my one weakness.

Hello number five. How's every little thing?

Who are you and why are you holding me here? I want answers now or I want them eventually!

Fair enough, I'll level with you.

Oh, please, don't do that. Sorry. I'll level with you. Oh, please. Don't do that.

Sorry. I'll be blunt. Your web page has stumbled upon our secret plan.

That's impossible. All my stories are bullplop.

Bullplop!

Don't be cute. I'm referring to the flu shot expose.

You see, we're the ones loading them with mind-controlling additives.

But why?

To drive people into a frenzy of shopping.

That's why flu shots are given just before Christmas.

Of course. It's so simple.

Wait, no it's not. It's needlessly complicated.

Yes, it is. And we can't have you out there mucking it up now, can we?

No, sir.

There's good boy. Let's get you some ice cream. There we are.

Look, you can drug me all you want, but my family won't rest till they find my drug-blooded corpse.

I wouldn't count on that number five.

As far as your family knows, Homer Simpson is walking in the front door right about now.

I'm sorry? What?

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