The false promise of love languages
All In The Mind
ABC listen
4.4 • 785 Ratings
🗓️ 24 August 2024
⏱️ 29 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Do you know your love language?
Maybe you've done an online test — tested your partner — spent time talking it over — even made decisions about your relationship on the basis of your love language.
But where did this concept of love languages even come from? And how good is the evidence that backs it up?
Today, two research psychologists go deep on the concept of love languages — and what they really mean for your relationships.
Want more relationship content from All in the Mind? Check out our episode Why heartbreak hurts so bad.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | ABC Listen, podcasts, radio, news, music, and more. |
| 0:09.5 | So actually the first question I wanted to ask you is, what would you say your love languages? |
| 0:15.0 | My love language. |
| 0:17.9 | The answer to that would be that my love language is irrelevant. |
| 0:21.5 | I don't have one. |
| 0:23.1 | Full stop. |
| 0:24.2 | Right, right. |
| 0:25.0 | Right. |
| 0:25.0 | Right. |
| 0:27.6 | There are so many terms and concepts from psychology that have been floating around social media and pop culture more generally for the last several years. |
| 0:37.4 | And they've kind of taken on a life of |
| 0:39.9 | their own. You're being gaslit. Relationship trauma. You're the five love language is broken down. |
| 0:44.3 | Just test us to let you know which trauma you might have. Gaslating is when somebody makes you |
| 0:47.6 | question your own reality. Abointly attached people, they actually feel very, very, very alone. |
| 0:53.8 | That's therapy speak, baby. |
| 0:55.8 | And it's a lot because while there's obviously a huge appetite for this kind of content, |
| 1:01.3 | the problem is often stuff gets taken out of context or blown out of proportion or just plain misunderstood. |
| 1:09.9 | Given everything else that's going on in our lives |
| 1:11.6 | and all the things we've got to hold in our head, |
| 1:13.9 | making things more simple and accessible and understandable |
| 1:16.8 | is always going to be appealing to someone. |
| 1:19.4 | Whether it's accurate or not is a different matter. |
... |
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