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All In The Mind

The damage done by emotionally immature parents

All In The Mind

ABC listen

Life Sciences, Health & Fitness, Science

4.4 β€’ 785 Ratings

πŸ—“οΈ 17 August 2024

⏱️ 30 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How would you describe your parents?

Nobody's perfect, of course, but some parents leave more of a mark than others.

Today, we revisit the life-long impact of having 'emotionally immature' parents, as Dr Lindsay Gibson's book hits bestseller lists.

This episode was first broadcast in May 2021.

If you're looking for another episode to listen to, why not check out Milgram Shock and Stanford Prison β€” what we misunderstand about the most infamous experiments in psychology.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

A.C. Listen. Podcasts, radio, news, music and more.

0:07.4

A quick warning, this episode touches on the topic of suicide. Take care while listening.

0:17.7

Mandy's mother has always had a controlling streak.

0:25.8

When she was 10 years old, her mom got a job at her school, which is a bit of a nightmare scenario for most kids anyways, but her mother used her presence in a peculiar way.

0:32.0

My mother was telling me who I was and I wasn't allowed to be friends with.

0:35.8

She was prohibiting most people I made friends with.

0:39.0

So she would actually leave her post during my lunchtime to see who I was hanging out with and if I

0:45.0

was following her orders. Mandy quickly realized this wasn't normal.

0:49.8

Because I was like, well, nobody else's mom is coming in here and checking to see who they're

0:53.5

friends with.

0:54.6

In her teens, Mandy's mother threw her a big, expensive birthday party, which doesn't sound

0:59.9

so bad, but she really, really didn't want one. So in Brazil, we have a tradition where we have

1:06.7

a large party when somebody is 15 and they're coming in to be a woman and etc.

1:11.7

It's usually a very expensive party.

1:13.8

I kept telling her, I really don't want to do this.

1:16.4

And she said, no, but I'm missing out on this experience.

1:20.4

And it was funny because it's very clearly a party that's not for the parent.

1:25.1

It's for the child.

1:26.7

And so she set up this whole party, did it all from her own way. And, you know, that's not for the parent, it's for the child. And so she set up this whole party, did it all from her own way.

1:30.3

And, you know, that's not completely unhealthy in and of itself.

1:33.3

But when you notice that in a pattern of behavior, it becomes very interesting.

1:37.3

Mandy's now in her late 20s, and until a few years ago,

...

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