The Narcissist's True Colours - When They Know You Know!

Trauma & Narcissism Redefined

Caroline Strawson

Narcissisticabuse, Health & Fitness, Narcissist, Self-improvement, Education, Recovery, Mental Health, Trauma

4.8 • 701 Ratings

🗓️ 28 June 2021

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, we will talk about what happens when the narcissist knows you figured everything out, and what we can expect when they show their true colors. I will share a bit of my story with my ex-husband, and what happened when I confirmed my suspicions about him, and I let him know that I knew everything I needed to know.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- How narcissists diminish the pain of feeling worthless

- The three ways of ending a relationship with a narcissist

- Why I stayed for years in my abusive marriage

- What happened when I told my ex-husband I had everything figured out about him

Although narcissists appear to be confident and secure, they are precisely the opposite. When we let them know we are aware of their game, we become a shining spotlight on their worthiness wounds. They have two options, to look themselves in the mirror acknowledging the damage they've done, or smear and try to diminish us. Unfortunately, they tend to choose the latter option.

Resources Mentioned:

- Book: Caroline Strawson - Divorce Became My Superpower: A Story Of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, Gaining Perspective, Power & Positivity: https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Narcissistic-Perspective-ebook/dp/B07H6GF4FV/

- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/

- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the narcissistic trauma recovery podcast. I'm Caroline Strawson and I'll be sharing with you
0:09.5	awareness, understanding and education about the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse to help you thrive.
0:16.4	I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are and I believe you.
0:21.5	And this show is all about taking you from trauma to transformation.
0:31.0	I want to talk to you about what happens when the narcissist knows that you know.
0:40.7	You know, what exactly happens? What are the narcissist's true colours like? And the reason why I wanted to share this is because I get so many messages from
0:46.7	people where they will say to me, I don't know whether they are a narcissist because they kind of seem
0:53.7	nice one minute and then they kind of be
0:56.4	a bit mean or a bit angry and they treat me like this and then the relationship breaks down
1:02.1	and they still might seem like they're being quite nice at that stage and we actually call
1:06.5	this hoovering at this stage because they're still going to try and get you back at this stage
1:12.7	if you were the one that has ended the relationship because we know when we think about
1:17.9	narcissists we may think that they're really really confident but actually they have a really
1:23.5	deep worthless wound that has occurred in childhood. So everything for the narcissist
1:28.8	is about really, really diminishing, minimizing the pain of feeling worthless. So how does that
1:36.6	manifest then? Well, that manifests when you're in the relationship with a narcissist with a whole
1:41.1	host of narcissistic behavior, which can be anger and manipulation. It can
1:45.7	even be love bombing. It can be all kinds of situations like gaslighting, leaving you feeling like
1:52.1	you are the crazy one. And I always say there are really three ways to leave a relationship with a
1:56.8	narcissist. One is that you actually stay in it forever more until you die. Number two,
2:04.3	they find narcissistic supply elsewhere. That was my situation as well, where they will go and
2:10.3	find somebody else. I clearly wasn't meeting the needs of that worthless wound at that
	...

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