The Problem with Pornography [Fearless Sexuality Summit]

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 4 March 2025

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Many of those who develop a compulsive relationship with pornography aren’t just looking for sexual gratification—they’re looking for a type of relief. These are often people who appear most put together on the outside—the responsible student, the dedicated churchgoer, the child who carries the family’s expectations. With little space to process stress or be truly known, pornography becomes a tempting, private escape from the pressures of life. But over time, this creates a growing divide between their public persona and private reality, reinforcing shame and deepening their sense of fracture and isolation. This pattern often carries into marriage, where rather than risk the exposures of real intimacy and connection with a spouse, porn continues to be an easy escape. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Taylor Chambers to discuss how we can turn challenges related to pornography into opportunities for personal and relational growth. They explore the systemic issues that contribute to porn use, the impact that unwanted porn use has on marriages, and how we can use conflict and crisis in our relationships as opportunities to learn more about ourselves and create meaningful growth in our capacity for real intimacy. _________ In the episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses the Zach and Kelly Room for Two series. Subscribe to Room for Two to listen to the entire 7-episode series! Dr. Finlayson-Fife also mentions her upcoming Art of Loving Retreat in St. George, Utah. You can join the interest list for that retreat HERE.

Transcript

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0:00.0	When you learn to love through sexuality and be loved, you don't have anything to fear anymore about sex.
0:06.5	Because it's our embodiment, our humanity, some of the best of what it is to be human,
0:13.2	but you're in relationship to it in a way that you love and are loved through it.
0:20.0	Your sexuality increases your sense of joy,
0:24.2	increases your sense of self-confidence. It increases your kind of alignment with yourself
0:29.5	because you're not ashamed of your sexuality anymore. You're not afraid that it's running the show.
0:34.8	You're in charge, right? And you get to decide how you relate to it,
0:39.1	but you relate to it in a way that accrues to your self-respect and to the respect of a partner.
0:51.5	Welcome to conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships, sexuality, spirituality, and more.
1:00.8	All featuring Dr. Finlayson Fife.
1:05.4	Hello, everybody. My name is Taylor Chambers, and I am welcomed by Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. So first of all,
1:11.9	thank you, Dr. Finlayson-Five for being here. Appreciate it.
1:14.8	Glad to be here.
1:16.4	So I'm looking forward to our interview. We had a topic that we decided on ahead of time
1:20.7	that I know is going to be really valuable. And all of this is toward the end of, you know,
1:24.8	shifting from that unwarranted porn use to fearless sexuality.
1:34.1	And today we'll be emphasizing specifically how intimate relationships can be used, I guess,
1:40.8	as a vehicle toward that end. And so looking forward to that. I know that you're on a lot of podcasts and you speak a great deal. And I don't know that I've come up with any questions that are like brilliantly unique or anything like that. But I did want to ask because so often we get
1:48.8	this side of you that is, um, in astute, articulate, intelligent, all of that. Um, but I was curious,
1:56.0	how, how do your loved ones experience you? I mean, do they, do they get more of the same, you know,
2:00.5	or is it, do they get a different side of you or? I mean, do they get more of the same, you know, or is it,
2:01.2	do they get a different side of you or how would they describe?
	...

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