Hi, thanks for stopping by and welcome to Darmapunks New York.

We had a nice gathering on Sunday in mid-Manhattan and looking forward to doing more gatherings in the post-Labor day season if you'd like to hang out with us in person we're doing a retreat at

Garrison on September 1st.

And all the info about our in-person meetings, retreats,

our events are on the Darmapunse NYC.com page.

The link to the Tuesday evening class. You can also always get it there. The retreat is on Labor Day from September 1st through 5th.

Yeah, hope you can consider joining us. If you are up for supporting the work of a Buddhist pastor around 18 years ago when I started,

I made a decision to do everything, the counseling and the teaching entirely by

donation, not to charge anyone, anything for my work. The PayPal buttons on the darmapunks NYC.com page and the Vemmo is

darmas darma punks nyc. And there's also a Patreon site as well.

In the Buddhist's first noble truths, he notes the inevitability of painful events in life.

He notes that there is inevitably going to be aging, sickness, death, will be separated from the loved. We will be stuck at times with individuals that cause us a degree of stress. We'll have setbacks in terms of not getting what we want.

I'd note that as a social species probably we're most vulnerable

to the experiences of separation and loss

because our brands are literally wired

to respond to tribal events.

And these painful experiences can be mitigated when we connect with other people and we do what's known as co-regulation, which means we find someone who's emotionally available, attentive, we disclose what's going on internally, what we're feeling. In that we have a sense of being seen and understood,

and when someone is either soothing or appreciative,

our autonomic nervous system begins to link with the person we've connected with.

So even if we're in great distress or sorrow overwhelmed, if we connect and bond just through what's

known as emotion contagion and limbic co-regulation, our nervous systems begin to lock up, sink to each other and if someone is in a state where they feel safer or more

secure we can begin to move from a sympathetic arousal fear,

...