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The Daily

The Sunday Read: ‘The Joys (and Challenges) of Sex After 70’

The Daily

The New York Times

Daily News, News

4.4102.8K Ratings

🗓️ 30 January 2022

⏱️ 50 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today, Maggie Jones explores the overlooked topic of geriatric sex. Profiling older couples for whom it is still important, she considers the obstacles and joys of having sex over the age of 70, and the way society has begun to talk more openly about it in recent years. As bodies change, Jones writes, good sex in old age often requires reimagining and expanding: a conscious inclusion of more touching, kissing, erotic massage, oral sex and sex toys. Along with pleasure, other benefits are linked to sex: a stronger immune system, improved cognitive function, cardiovascular health in women and lower odds of prostate cancer, along with improved sleep, stress reduction and a cultivation of emotional intimacy. The subset of older people who are having lots of sex well into their 80s could help shape those conversations and policies, while doctors can also do their part by attending to individuals’ physiological impediments to sex. Many sex experts expect more open conversations and policies related to their senior sex lives in the years to come.

Transcript

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0:00.0

My name is Maggie Jones.

0:05.9

I'm a contributing writer to the New York Times magazine.

0:09.8

My latest story is about what sex is like for people as they get older, specifically

0:14.6

people in their 70s, 80s, and even 90s.

0:20.6

I went into it thinking I'm writing something about older people dating and sex and new

0:26.4

relationships.

0:28.7

And it evolved into something where I was like, wait a minute, not only are older people

0:33.8

having great sex, but there are lessons here and they apply to everybody.

0:40.4

Lessons for when you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s.

0:44.7

I think the word that summarizes this best is openness.

0:49.9

And openness means all sorts of things.

0:53.2

It can mean an openness to the fact that our bodies inevitably change.

0:57.9

It doesn't have to always be something novel, but if you keep doing things like sex, the

1:03.4

exact same way you did them in your 20s, it might not work.

1:07.9

I spoke to people who went to body and erotic workshops late in life to help deepen their

1:12.7

own sense of sexuality.

1:15.2

People who began using sex toys for the first time in their 60s, 70s, and 80s.

1:21.0

And couples who began sexting in the mornings as a form of foreplay for sex later that day.

1:28.7

I had several people who work in senior living places say that sometimes the biggest obstacle

1:34.0

to a widowed person or someone suffering from dementia from having a sex life is adult

1:39.9

children, preventing them from doing so, probably because they don't see their parents as

1:44.8

sexual beings.

...

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