Trouble at Bayside: An Unexpected Disclosure || Room for Two Teaser

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 4 July 2023

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Zack and Kelly’s marriage has been a relatively untroubled one. That is until last year, when Zack disclosed to Kelly that he had been viewing pornography off and on since childhood. Kelly’s distress from the disclosure came not so much because Zack had been viewing porn, but because he had managed to keep this from her despite her having asked him explicitly about it over the years. Learning that he was capable of deceiving her in this way was completely and understandably disorganizing for Kelly. A year into it, they now see clearly that their previously cordial relationship was actually the result of a lot of validation-seeking, masking, and caretaking. Their relationship post-disclosure has been much more tumultuous–with higher highs and lower lows than they could have previously imagined. In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with Zack and Kelly to get a better understanding of their history and helps them see how their upbringing has impacted their past and current marital dynamic. Be sure to subscribe to Room for Two TODAY to listen to the full episode!

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is an excerpt from Room for Two. This podcast features coaching sessions with real clients who are working through issues in their emotional and sexual
0:14.8	relationships.
0:16.4	You'll get to hear real wisdom from Dr Finlace and Fife, who is uniquely qualified to help couples
0:22.1	who grew up in sexually conservative environments to overcome their
0:26.1	relational and sexual roadblocks. The couples in the series are not ongoing
0:32.1	clients of Dr Finlason Fife.
0:34.6	To ensure their anonymity, their names and identifying features have been changed, but their stories
0:40.8	and their voices are real.
0:43.3	Welcome to Room for Two, couples coaching
0:46.6	with Dr. Jennifer Finley's and Fife.
0:51.6	Kelly and Zach, welcome to Room for two. So just tell me a bit about yourselves and how I can be helpful.
0:58.0	Yeah, so I'll kind of give an introduction. So we've been married for almost 12 years and I think you
1:11.4	know the last year has been like a big year of sort of development for us.
1:19.0	It's started with a pornography disclosure that I made to Kelly almost a year ago and that kind of started
1:30.4	us on a path of trying to figure out how I got there and sort of dynamics in our marriage and I took the
1:40.8	took your men's course and I have been reading a lot of books and you know we've been
1:44.9	trying to correct some of the bad patterns that existed in our marriage. I was like
1:50.4	the typical nice guy and she was sort of a peacemaker and just wanted to keep
1:56.5	me happy and so you know all those dynamics were playing out and so we've been trying to correct those over the last year or so.
2:06.0	And I think, you know, kind of where we are is now is we, I think we understand sort of conceptually what needs to be done and especially for me like what
2:16.1	I need to do you know to be sort of more solid and more self-validating but I think the issue that we're having or that I'm having in
2:26.2	particular is just being more consistent in that so you know we'll have periods of
	...

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