When Sex Isn't Easy [Q&A Discussion]

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 16 April 2025

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Many people long for more ease and passion in their sexual relationship—but unknowingly bring meanings to sex that interfere with both. When sex becomes a duty to fulfill, a performance to manage, or a tool to reassure a partner, it loses the very energy that makes it feel alive. The pressure to produce intimacy, validation, or an orgasm can quietly unravel the conditions that desire needs in order to thrive. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife uses questions from her audience to unpack why so many of us struggle to feel ease and desire in our sexual relationship—and what we can do to can create a more soulful and passionate connection with our partner. ___ Join us for the Art of Desire Workshop in Gilbert, Arizona next week! Use code DESIRE to SAVE $100

Transcript

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0:00.0	The sexual self likes freedom.
0:03.0	The freedom to be, the freedom to experience, the freedom to enjoy.
0:08.5	It likes the freedom to be oneself.
0:11.7	The sexual self does not like judgment.
0:14.5	It doesn't like pressure.
0:16.0	It doesn't like goals.
0:18.0	It doesn't like having to prove anything.
0:20.5	Thank you. goals. It doesn't like having to prove anything.
0:34.1	Welcome to conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships, sexuality, spirituality, and more, all featuring Dr. Finlayson
0:39.9	Fife.
0:41.5	Welcome to When Sex Isn't Easy.
0:45.0	Several questions were submitted that I'm just going to go through, but I wanted to talk about
0:52.1	the topic, generally speaking, for a minute before I dive into the questions
0:57.4	that were submitted. So I would say this is the number one challenge that I work with
1:04.9	in my practice and in the courses I teach is the challenge of not feeling desire in marriage when it feels so
1:14.6	important to be able to feel it, right? Because it disappoints your spouse. It disappoints you.
1:20.6	Or you're the higher desire person and sex isn't easy because it's a pain point in the marriage
1:26.8	that you don't feel desired,
1:28.4	you don't feel wanted, pursued, cared about.
1:33.6	And the challenge is that we bring so much meaning to our sexuality, especially when we
1:42.5	marry someone and how they feel about us matters so much to our sense of self
1:49.1	that if they don't desire us or if they think we're not doing enough sexually or we're not
	...

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