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The other thing about control is it prevents trust in intimacy.

Karen and I, when I was controlling our relationship, we had no intimacy whatsoever.

You can't.

University of California did a study, a very intense study years ago of marriage and control,

and they took 130 newly married couples, and they tracked them for five years, and what

they were trying to find was what is the secret of a happy marriage, and so they interviewed

these couples over a period of five years.

And at the same time that they were studying the 130 couples, they had another group of

couples that had been married for a while, and they were also studying them.

At the end of the study, they decided the number one factor that creates the good will

and happiness of marriage is shared control of the relationship.

And they found if one person controls the other, the intimacy and satisfaction of the marriage

drops dramatically.

You simply can't be intimate with someone who's controlling you because it violates us.

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