Life can be messy in relationships conflict is inevitable especially in marriage. We can't avoid it but we can choose to be proactive about setting guidelines to make our fights as productive as possible.

Today we're going to share the five rules for fighting

that we use to move from heated conflict

to healthy resolution.

This is life with Amy and Jordan.

Here's how a typical fight used to look early on in our marriage.

Uh-oh.

Jordan would typically get angry about something and that would almost always make me cry immediately and that

would make Jordan even angrier and that would make me cry even more.

Jordan sounds like a monster.

And Amy sounds like, I don't know, a whim.

Jordan would start storming through the house

like Godzilla, smashing everything in his path.

No, but what you would do is you would shut down and retreat. Normally

leave the room and then that would make me feel like you were abandoning me and

so I would then chase you around the house to whatever you're in, pushing you to want...

Which normally I like it when you chase me around the house.

Oh boy, okay.

I would chase you around the house, not the way that you like it, and ask you to...

We thought you were listening to a podcast about five rules for fighting, and it's really five rules for fighting and it's really five rules four just kidding

okay and then what would happen is oh my gosh I'm turning red. My plan is working.

That I would just be pushing you to talk.

...