193: How To Handle A Toxic Relationship You Don’t Want To Lose
Love Life with Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey
4.8 • 2.9K Ratings
🗓️ 29 November 2022
⏱️ 19 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Do you have a relationship that you are unwilling to lose, but that causes you daily resentment and frustration? Where you feel like you are giving, but not getting much in return?
In this solo episode, Matt explains how to take a step back and reassess a toxic or difficult relationship we want to keep in our lives, whether it’s reasonable to expect someone to change, and what we can do to protect ourselves if we are going to endure relationships that drain our energy.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | We cannot endure in a relationship without resentment, where we are constantly the ones who are giving, |
| 0:07.2 | and we do not feel like we get the same bad. |
| 0:09.7 | Hey everybody, it's Matthew Hussey here with the Love Life podcast, just me today. I told myself |
| 0:36.0 | when we started injecting new energy into the podcast that I would do some episode so low now, |
| 0:42.9 | and again, if I just felt like there was something that could be useful to everyone, all of our |
| 0:46.4 | listeners, well, this is one of those days. And the thing I want to talk about is the people |
| 0:52.4 | in our lives. And the roles that we play in certain relationships where maybe you have built up |
| 0:59.1 | resentment because you feel like you give more than the other person. Perhaps there are certain |
| 1:04.5 | people in your life you feel have let you down a lot. You're unwilling to lose them from your |
| 1:09.6 | life, but you also know that the way they're in your life right now creates an incredible amount |
| 1:14.8 | of pain and resentment for you. And you don't know what to do about that. One of the things that's |
| 1:19.8 | important is to recalibrate how much we give to a relationship based on what we get from that |
| 1:30.4 | relationship. We can't be in relationships where the giving is always in one direction, |
| 1:37.7 | where there is a disproportionate amount of energy in one direction. And I'm one everyone |
| 1:42.7 | to understand here. I'm not talking necessarily even romantically. I'm talking about the friendships |
| 1:48.0 | we have in our life, the family, the people with the closest to. We cannot endure in a relationship |
| 1:55.7 | without resentment where we are constantly the ones who are giving. And we do not feel like we |
| 2:02.8 | get the same back. Resentment arises out of a deficit. And what happens is because we've learned |
| 2:11.2 | to play a certain role in those relationships. Maybe it's how we get our validation is being the |
| 2:16.8 | giver, being the pleaser, being the generous one. Maybe it's how we feel secure is because we |
| 2:23.7 | feel like if we keep giving to this relationship, it won't go away. Maybe it's what we're comfortable |
| 2:28.8 | with. It's part of our identity and our image that we are that person. And we don't really know |
... |
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