Hi there, welcome. My name is Josh. Just a couple of announcements. On Monday through Fridays,

Kathy at 8 in the morning teaches her daily pause meditation and the link is in the

info on darma punks with an ex-nyc.

The next in-person, New Year's Day. So that'll be in person.

And we'll have an announcement as per the time and the way to register for that and it should be a really lovely intention setting

Buddhist gathering so if you're in New York, dot by. If you have Instagram, I post everything there.

There's the DarmaPunks with an ex-NYc Instagram page and there's also my Instagram and there's also

stuff on Facebook. So everything I do is entirely supported by donation. I don't charge for anything.

So the Venmo is Darmapunks NYC and the PayPal and Patreon info is on the website. So thanks for that. Today we are talking about

acceptance versus change in relationships.

It's not the primary kind of work I do in counseling.

Most of the time it's with individuals,

but I do work with couples counseling.

It's easy to fall under the misconception that individuals act deliberately in accordance with

conscious decisions. When we see other people in our life, it seems it's easy to believe that they are acting in ways they've devised

consciously.

On the other hand, when we do something and make a mistake, it's simply because we were stressed.

That's the fundamental attribution error misconception that human beings have, which is that other

people choose the way they act. But our behaviors are governed by neural pathways that are

instilled in our brains by long forgotten antecedent events that go back over a wide stretch of time.

Just to look at the model Robert Saubolsky, whose work I highly recommend,

behavioral psychologist.

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