Berner Phone #49: Bad Drivers

Berner Phone

Hannah Berner and Des Bishop

Stand-up, Comedy

4.4 • 5.6K Ratings

🗓️ 14 July 2024

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Nothing ruins your peaceful drive like a bad driver. Hannah doesn't have a driver's license but don't worry she still has plenty of opinons. This was a cathartic episode for Des who claims he doesn't have road rage.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm so excited to be partnering with wonderful pistachios. I'm a pistachio girl.
0:05.6	Oh I love I love pistachios. I like it in ice cream. I like it when I'm watching TV.
0:10.4	I like it for breakfast. I like it as a calming activity of repetitive behavior.
0:16.0	You're not you're not just having one pistachio.
0:19.0	Has anyone had one pistachio in their life?
0:21.0	That's insane behavior and I don't think it exists.
0:24.0	It's a great oral fixation to distract yourself
0:27.2	from your current problems.
0:28.6	Anyway, wonderful pistachios have literally come out
0:31.0	of their shells.
0:31.8	Same delicious taste, but with a little less work for
0:34.1	you, less cracken, more snacken, so you don't even have to open them up.
0:39.2	Oh they do it for you.
0:40.2	Yeah.
0:41.2	Oh my God, less cracking, more snackacking. Wonderful pistachios no-shell
0:44.2	flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors including chili roasted, honey
0:48.4	roasted, sea salt and vinegar. The Irish will love that. They love the salt and
0:52.1	vinegar. Smoky barbecue love the salt and vinegar,
0:52.8	Smoky barbecue, sea salt and pepper,
0:55.2	and the newest edition, Halapino lime.
0:58.4	I really love sea salt and vinegar.
1:00.6	I'm a big spicy fan.
	...

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