Berner Phone #50: Solving Your Dial-emmas

Berner Phone

Hannah Berner and Des Bishop

Stand-up, Comedy

4.4 • 5.6K Ratings

🗓️ 23 July 2024

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We're back with another unprofessional advice epsiode. Becasue it's so much more fun to help other people with their problems than trying to solve your own. The dialers are navigating wedding stress, awkward family situations, and dating dilemmas.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	I'm so excited to be partnering with wonderful pistachios. I'm a pistachio girl.
0:05.6	Oh I love I love pistachios. I like it in ice cream. I like it when I'm watching TV.
0:10.4	I like it for breakfast. I like it as a calming activity of repetitive behavior.
0:16.0	You're not you're not just having one pistachio.
0:19.0	Has anyone had one pistachio in their life?
0:21.0	That's insane behavior and I don't think it exists.
0:24.0	It's a great oral fixation to distract yourself
0:27.2	from your current problems.
0:28.6	Anyway, wonderful pistachios have literally come out
0:31.0	of their shells.
0:31.8	Same delicious taste, but with a little less work for
0:34.1	you, less cracken, more snacken, so you don't even have to open them up.
0:39.2	Oh they do it for you.
0:40.2	Yeah.
0:41.2	Oh my God, less cracking, more snackacking. Wonderful pistachios no-shell
0:44.2	flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors including chili roasted, honey
0:48.4	roasted, sea salt and vinegar. The Irish will love that. They love the salt and
0:52.1	vinegar. Smoky barbecue love the salt and vinegar,
0:52.8	Smoky barbecue, sea salt and pepper,
0:55.2	and the newest edition, Halapino lime.
0:58.4	I really love sea salt and vinegar.
1:00.6	I'm a big spicy fan.
	...

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