Berner Phone

Our screen times are alarmingly high so we figured we should at least find out what the dialer's favorite and most useful apps are. 

Transcribed - Published: 21 April 2025

It's a new week, but couples are still fighting. Hannah and Des are back trying to save some relationships with advice on how to move past menial arguments. 

Transcribed - Published: 14 April 2025

Every couple has that one recurring argument they can't agree on. The dialers are sharing the small but mighty fights in their relationships.

Transcribed - Published: 6 April 2025

Customer service is a b**** and the dialers told us all their most annoying interactions. From standing up to get a waiter to shaking drinks at a bar, Hannah and Des figure out if they were ever guilty of being bad customers.

Transcribed - Published: 30 March 2025

The last episode of are you the a-hole was a hit, so we're bringing it back. Based on the popular Reddit thread "Am I the a-hole?" we're deciding if the dialers are in the wrong this week. Get Huel today with this exclusive offer for New Customers of 15% OFF + a FREE Gift at https://huel.com/BERN

Transcribed - Published: 22 March 2025

Hannah is back and is passionate about this week's topic. Your notes app is about as personal as it gets, but the dialers are opening up to share the funniest thing in their notes. 

Transcribed - Published: 15 March 2025

The dialers are making their case for the best TV series of all time.

Transcribed - Published: 9 March 2025

Who needs therapy when you have Berner Phone? This week the dialers are sharing the best advice they've recieved from a therapist. 

Transcribed - Published: 3 March 2025

The list of things that should be illegal could go on forever. You might leave this episode annoyed with humanity, but you'll also feel seen.

Transcribed - Published: 23 February 2025

The dialers are putting Des to the test and he's giving advice on life, love, travel, and becoming a yoga instructor. 

Transcribed - Published: 16 February 2025

Search history is personal, but the dialers are letting us in on their most recent Google searches. You can usually find Hannah searching tennis players, celebrities, and the latest documentaries, while Des is on WebMD and looking up ACL exercises.

Transcribed - Published: 10 February 2025

Hannah's mom joins the episode to explain why we have to protect our energy and let karma do its job. The dialers share stories of when karma came back to bite.

Transcribed - Published: 3 February 2025

Will people really do anything for money? We're finding out this week as the dialers share the wildest things they've done for money.

Transcribed - Published: 25 January 2025

Every now and then, we realize it's time for a spicy episode. The dialers are sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly of new things they've tried in bed.

Transcribed - Published: 19 January 2025

We are learning, growing, and realizing things today because we asked the dialers to tell us "I was today years old when...". Some of these facts might change your life, but don't count on it.

Transcribed - Published: 11 January 2025

The holiday season has come to an end and it's time to go back the office. Everyone has a coworker (or two) that they can't stand, so the dialers are sharing their worst work stories.

Transcribed - Published: 5 January 2025

Turns out the dialers need a lot of advice...so we're doing a part 2 of our unprofessional advice. This week we're dealing with finances, family, and failing relationships. 

Transcribed - Published: 28 December 2024

It's the holiday season and the dialers were in need of some advice, so we delivered. Lines are being blurred in open relationships, some in-laws just won't take the hint, and our resident cat expert is sharing some knowledge. 

Transcribed - Published: 22 December 2024

Everyone has their quirks and odd habits. And this week, the dialers are revealing theirs in hopes that they aren't the one one. You'll either finish this episode feeling understood or questioning why you are the why you are. 

Transcribed - Published: 16 December 2024

A vacation can either be a bonding experience or the beginning of the end of a relationship. This week the dialers are sharing their worst vacation experiences with family, friends, and partners.   

Transcribed - Published: 8 December 2024

Family and friendship dynamics are complicated, but someone is always the asshole. Based on the popular Reddit thread "Am I the asshole?", we're deciding if the dialers are in the wrong this week. 

Transcribed - Published: 2 December 2024

'Tis the season for the biggest family fights of the year. Hopefully these stories of Thanksgiving conversation gone wrong will make you feel better about your family's holiday dysfunction.

Transcribed - Published: 24 November 2024

Sometimes it really is better to give than recieve. This week the dialers are sharing the worst gifts they've ever gotten.   

Transcribed - Published: 17 November 2024

Des is in the hot seat this week. He's answering all the things you've ever wondered about men. This is the most dialers we've ever had call in and you don't want to miss this one.  getjackblack.com/BERN with code BERN for 10% off seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN for 25% off 50% off at goodamerican.com with code BERNER carawayhome.com/BERN for 20% off

Transcribed - Published: 7 November 2024

We address the pros and cons of Halloween and people's most embarassing costumes.  20% off dog food at sundaysfordogs.com/bern  Free shipping at quince.com/BERN free shipping mackweldon.com/gifting for $25 off menswear

Transcribed - Published: 1 November 2024

Hannah's back (again). We're coming for everything from running to bad sex positions and the dialers are sharing hot takes on the most overrated things in life.   10% off cookware at Carawayhome.com/BERN 20% off bras and shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN 200% off tonal.com exercise machines with code BERN 25% off Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN 30 day free trial at dipseastories.com/BERN

Transcribed - Published: 25 October 2024

Hannah is back on pod this week and we're feeling nostalgic. Is there really such a thing as a the good ole days? Those who got to go to Blockbuster on Friday nights and burn CDs for their high school girlfriend would say yes.  10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com with code BERN 40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 15% off all products at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN 20% off and a free cat toy at prettylitter.com/BERN 

Transcribed - Published: 17 October 2024

Des is joined by the hilarious Joanne McNally this week. They're giving advice on dating a comedian, in-law issues, how to woo an Irish man, and correct emoji usage.  Free shipping at quince.com/bern 25% off Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN Save $15 on skincare at Apostrophe.com/PHONE $200 off your order at tonal.com with code BERN  

Transcribed - Published: 10 October 2024

The dialers have been through the wringer with some crazy liars. We start off light hearted then hear some insane (and possibly illegal) stories. We don't condone lying BUT white lies about why you were late or why you canceled plans are completely ok. zocdoc.com/BERNER 15% off at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN 30 days free at dipseastories.com/BERN 20% off bedding at bollandbranch.com/BERN  40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 40% off 50% off at factormeals.com/BERN50 with code bern50 20% off CleanMyMac X with code bernerphone  40% off dog food at sundaysfordogs.com/BERN

Transcribed - Published: 1 October 2024

Gripes come in many forms and, in our book, they are all completely valid. The dialers are sharing the things that grind their gears and Hannah gives some advice to the big booty girlies. 20% off shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN quince.com/BERN for free shipping and returns 15% off all products at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN 20% off at liquid-iv.com with code BERN 20% off at prettylitter.com/BERN with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 17 September 2024

Bad roommates are a canon event, but they always make for a good story. The dialers are sharing some horror stories and we start to realize we might have been the bad roommates. quince.com/BERN for free shipping 10$ off at oseamalibu.com with code BERN 25% off at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN $5 with code BERN when you download the Ibotta app

Transcribed - Published: 12 September 2024

There were some wild and juicy messages this week. We're giving more advice about relationships, trying stand up, and ruining wedding days. Get cookware for 10% off at hexclad.com/BERN 40% off dog food at sundaysfordogs.com/BERN Get up to 43% off and a free gift at mudwtr.com/BERN 30 day free trial at dipseastories.com/BERN 15% off sheets at bollandbranch.com/BERN

Transcribed - Published: 4 September 2024

We're back this week with another advice episode. The dialers have found themselves in some sticky situations and we're giving our unprofessional advice. $200 off exercise machines at tonal.com with code BERN 50% off at factormeals.com/BERN50 with code BERN50 Get a new wireless plan at mintmobile.com/BERNER Affordable luxury essentials at quince.com/BERN free shipping 25% off daily synbiotic at seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN 25% off shaving needs at shopflamingo.com/BERNER

Transcribed - Published: 28 August 2024

We've all fallen victim to buying items from targeted ads that seem like the cure to all our problems. This week the dialers are sharing the purchases they regret and have hidden from their spouses. And it's one of our favorite episodes so far. 20% off the best chips at masachips.com with code BERN Smell good with 15% off at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN 15% off at citylips.com with code BERNER 40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 20% off bras and shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN 50% off haircare prose.com/BERNER 46:05

Transcribed - Published: 19 August 2024

What if we all stopped trying to make excuses and just said no? The moral of today's episode is "if it's not a fuck yes it's a no". zocdoc.com/berner Get 25% Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN 20% off better hydration at liquid-iv.com with code BERN 15% off bedding at bollandbranch.com/bern 25% off shaving needs at shopflamingo.com/berner with code BERNER 10% modern bidets at hellotushy.com with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 14 August 2024

Pets are the glue that hold our lives and our mental sanity together. But they have minds of their own and despite what we may think, they don't always listen to us. This week the dialers are sharing some wild pet stories. Some left us laughing and some left us cringing. 10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com with code BERN $5 for registering on the Ibotta app with code BERN Get the best cat litter 20% off plus a free cat toy at prettylitter.com/BERN with code BERN Snack guilt free at masachips.com with code BERN for 20% off Get 20% off your CleanMyMac X subscription with code BERNERPHONE

Transcribed - Published: 5 August 2024

The dialers are sharing the minor things that feel like a complete disaster. From incorrect food orders to stubbing your toe - days are being ruined nationwide. Luxury essentials at quince.com/bern for free shipping and returns Cut down on your wireless bill at mintmobile.com/berner Get ready to eat meals with 50% off at factormeals.com/bern50 with code bern50 10% premium cookware at hexclad.com/BERN Get premium hydration for 20% at liquidiv.com with code BERN First skincare visit for $5 at apostrophe.com/phone with code phone

Transcribed - Published: 29 July 2024

We're back with another unprofessional advice epsiode. Becasue it's so much more fun to help other people with their problems than trying to solve your own. The dialers are navigating wedding stress, awkward family situations, and dating dilemmas. Get the best chips for 20% off at masa.com with code BERN 20% off shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN nurx.com/BERN for expert mental health help Get 25% off Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN $5 off your skincare consultation at apostrophe.com/phone 15% off with code BERN at lumedoerant.com Upgrade your athletic wear at greatnesswins.com with code bern for 25% off

Transcribed - Published: 23 July 2024

Nothing ruins your peaceful drive like a bad driver. Hannah doesn't have a driver's license but don't worry she still has plenty of opinons. This was a cathartic episode for Des who claims he doesn't have road rage. Get 20% off better hydration at liquidiv.com w/ code BERN 50% off custom haircare at prose.com/BERNER 15% off luggage at BEISTRAVEL.com/BERN Make going to the doctor easy at zocdoc.com/BERNER Get 10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com w/ code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 14 July 2024

Things don't always work out the way we planned but often it turns out for the best. Whether it's crazy ex boyfriends or crushed dreams of winning Wimbledon, life has a way of working out. Give your gut some support with 25% off at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN Upgrade your athletic wear at GreatnessWins.com and use code BERN for 25% off Sleep better with 15% off and free shipping at bollandbranch.com/bern Get cash back on every purchase and $5 just for trying Ibotta. Download the app and use code BERN when you register.

Transcribed - Published: 8 July 2024

We're going through the dialer's favorite song lyrics and there are even some impromptu performances. We learned Hannnah likes music that makes her want to punch a wall and Des likes music that makes him tear up. For 15% off deodorant - use code BERN at lumedeodorant.com Get high quality essentials at quince.com/BERN for free shipping and returns Get the best drinks with free shipping at liquiddeath.com/BERN High quality athletic wear at greatnesswins.com code BERN for 25% offf nurx.com/BERN

Transcribed - Published: 30 June 2024

Hannah and Des are both in the process of writing a new hour of stand up. The dialers are helping to spark some creativity and inspiration. Are Irish men sexy and what do we think of therapy? And for the first time ever, someone wants Hannah to talk more about tennis. Cut your wireless bill to $15 at mintmobile.com/BERNER FACTORMEALS.com/bern50 for 50% off your first month of meals Murder your thirst at liquiddeath.com/BERN 25% off your first month of Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN

Transcribed - Published: 23 June 2024

Hannah, Des, and the dialers are recalling their best and worst attempts at flirting. We discuss whether guys actually enjoy negging and drop one of the most unique DM slides we’ve ever heard. 20% off bras and shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN For skin and body care, get 10% off with code BERN at OSEAMalibu.com If you want fuller and plumper lips, get 15% off sitewide with code BERNER at citybeauty.com For refreshing drinks, go to liquiddeath.com/BERN 25% off your first month of Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic at Seed.com/bern code 25BERN Upgrade your atheltic wear at GreatnessWins.com with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 15 June 2024

Grab your popcorn. The dialers called in with their favorite old movies and Hannah tried to explain the cultural impact of Mean Girls. Go to Hungryroot.com/BERNER, to get 40% off your first delivery and free veggies! For sunglasses, go to goodr.com/BERNER and use code BERNER for free shipping. Upgrade your athletic wear at GreatnessWins.com NOW. Use code BERN and you’ll receive 25% off on your first purchase!

Transcribed - Published: 8 June 2024

The dialers tell us their best invention ideas and we ranted about bad therapists, new dating app ideas, the science of sunscreen, and Hannah's favorite condiment. Get free shipping for clothing at Quince.com/bern 15% off at citybeauty.com with code BERNER 15% off at LumeDeodorant.com with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 2 June 2024

The dialers tell us their best invention ideas and we ranted about bad therapists, new dating app ideas, the science of sunscreen, and Hannah's favorite condiment. Get free shipping for clothing at Quince.com/bern 15% off at citybeauty.com with code BERNER 15% off at LumeDeodorant.com with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 2 June 2024

This episode raised our blood pressure. Traveling is stressful and fellow travelers often make it even worse. Perhaps a travelers license should be a new requirement at airports. 50% off meals at factormeals.com/bern50 with code BERN50 $15 a month wireless plans at mintmobile.com/berner 20% off shapewear and bras at honeylove.com/BERN

Transcribed - Published: 26 May 2024

Hangxiety is the worst feeling to wake up to. But this week the dialers put their embarrassing stories to good use. Hannah and Des also have wildly different stories to share this week. 10% off hero bread at hero.co with code BERNER 15% off luggage at beistravel.com/BERN 40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 25% off daily synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN

Transcribed - Published: 17 May 2024

This episode might "go down" as one of our all-time favorites. The dialers brought it this week with brutally honest and funny stories about their latest adventures and mishaps in the bedroom. Plus, we discuss how Nikki Glaser is the reason we got married. 25% off at seed.com/berner with code 25BERN 15% off at citybeauty.com with code BERNER zocdoc.com/berner nurx.com/bern

Transcribed - Published: 11 May 2024

We were all told as kids that we wouldn't survive if we went outside with wet hair. This week, we are debunking old wives' tales to find out if everything we've been told by our parents was a lie. zocdoc.com/berner asteproallergy.com goodr.com/BERNER for free shipping

Transcribed - Published: 3 May 2024