#brunchtalk: How Do You Deal With Judgemental Friends or Family When Dating?

Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Relationships, Sexuality, Science, Social Sciences, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.5 • 877 Ratings

🗓️ 14 April 2024

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Nothing is worse than having judgemental friends or family who pick apart every last person you date. In this week's brunch talk, we're discussing how to deal when the people closest to you think the person you're dating isn't "good enough." We're discuss where this type of feedback may come from, why it's important to know what's useful information versus superficial reasons that should be tuned out, and how you can talk your friends and family in a way that asserts your point of view – and stands up for the person you're dating. Got a dating question you need answered? Hit us up at [email protected] Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content about modern dating. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview w/ iHeart Podcasts available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode is sponsored by: Armoire: Get 50% off your first month of your clothing rental membership, up to $125 off using the code DATEABLE at https://armoire.style/refer/dateable/ Osea Malibu: Get 10% off their skincare from the sea at https://oseamalibu.com and use the code DATEABLE Done: Turn ADHD into your strength with mental health care made easy: https://get.donefirst.com/podcast Badlands Ranch Dog Food: Learn more about how to improve your dog's health at badlandsfood.com/dateable Flure Dating App: Try the app Made for Pleasure: https://flure.com Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcasts WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE is available for pre-order now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Meeting People IRL Kickstarter - CLOSES August 31st and get $10 OFF now through then! Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-podcast/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi I'm Ewey Schue and I'm Julie Kraftchik.
0:03.0	We're active daters turn dating sociologists.
0:05.6	Here to dive into everything modern dating and relationships.
0:09.1	Welcome to the dateable podcast. We hope you're ready and hungry because this is a question that's been on many people's minds.
0:25.6	And this is a good one. I think a lot of people could relate to this one.
0:29.4	And the question is, what would you do if you had judgmental friends or family when you're dating?
0:36.0	And for more context, I find my friends will judge a potential romantic interest by their
0:42.4	looks and comment on how they aren't good enough for me.
0:45.7	I'm not a teenager, I'm in my early 30s.
0:48.3	It makes me feel confused and secure and like my standards aren't high enough help.
0:53.0	Oh gosh it doesn't feel good I mean I understand that your friends may have good
0:59.5	intentions of saying you could do better but it doesn't make you feel good at all.
1:04.0	So I feel like in this circumstance it's good to sit down with your friends and tell them
1:11.1	that this does not make you feel good.
1:13.0	It's not constructive, it's not productive,
1:16.0	it actually makes you feel more insecure
1:18.0	and it makes you question every person that you date
1:21.0	and all of your dating choices.
1:22.0	At the end of the day, your friends and your family are not dating this person.
1:27.0	No.
1:28.0	Unless they are terrible to you, they really cannot comment about looks and if they're good enough.
1:34.1	What does that even mean?
	...

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