And the I'm going to do. Thank you so much for showing up today and every morning at 8 Kathy does the daily pause

meditation and hope you can show up for that. My Venmo information is Darma Punk's NYC.

Everything I do.

The teaching and counseling is provided or supported entirely by your donations.

I don't ever charge for anything I do.

So thanks for your support and the PayPal button is on the

darmapunks NYC website and the podcast page.

So thanks.

Today I thought I'd give a little talk maintaining safety and relationships and this came up because as part of my

Buddhist pastoral counseling which is kind of very similar to, related to providing

therapeutic support for people, but very frequently I get asked by individuals to also meet

with either a romantic partner or a parent.

Well, I don't really offer couples counseling per se.

I've been, I wound up doing it over the last 18 years and at

I've any given time I'll be working with a few couples. It's not something that I particularly, I generally encourage people to see couples therapists, but sometimes anyway I do wind up providing pastoral support for couples and so to provide service that is in any way useful.

I very much not only use Buddhist tools,

but some of the contemporary insights of major figures

in that landscape such as not just Alan Shore,

interpersonal neurobiology, Dan Siegel, but also the giants in the field of attachment-based couples

therapy such as the wonderful Sue Johnson of emotion focused therapies and

Stan Tacken Pact, B-A-C-T, as well as calling some of the insights of John Gottman and others.

So tonight I'm just going to talk a little bit about some of the foundations of how

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