This is the BBC.

Dear brothers and sisters, all are welcome here at the Confessions Podcast,

whether Saint or sinner.

Hello and welcome. This is another Confessions podcast

from your friends at the BBC, specifically the Radio 2 bit.

This is where sinful members of the public come to tell their tales of deceit,

debauchery and deception, pretty standard stuff seeking forgiveness from you,

and from Joe and from Bobby too.

Okay, so the collection this week, the Confession Collection includes

Jodas High Jinks, which is called Driving Away From Phone,

Nick's Tale, Midge of Trouble Water, David's Story,

where the Veebs have no shame and a classic confession from the Crypt featuring a wrong number.

First we start with Dan's confession, I fought the lawn and the law won.

Please be seated.

Father Simon and the Heavenly Few, this tale goes back to the early 90s when I was a young boy.

I grew up in mid Wales, in a farming community where little happened.

Certainly in the way of crime, apart from the odd bit of sheep rustling,

and occasionally polluting the village fountain with washing up liquid,

and that was about it.

My dad was the sort of man that liked anyone living under his roof to earn their keep,

including his 10-year-old son.

That's me.

...