You're listening to the festering, rotting corpse of a long-expired episode of Distorted View Daily.

Hey, freaks, it's Wednesday, April 1st, 2015, coming up. All right.

Showing all right. I'll give you all the story.

I will give you all the instructions.

All right.

Three quick stories now. First up, do you all the instructions. All right, three quick stories.

Now, first up, do you guys remember that Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day?

In it, the main character has to relive the same day over and over.

Well, now, for one student, that feeling turned into a nightmare

when he experienced attacks of persistent deja vu for eight years.

The 23-year-old British man has become the victim of one of the strangest cases of deja vu ever recorded in medical history.

Science revealed today.

The sufferer told experts he stopped watching TV, listening to the radio or reading newspapers or magazines because he believed he'd seen it all before.

You know what I would do?

I would sit him down in the room and say, all right, I'm holding the newspaper.

Tell me what happened today.

And he won't be able to tell me. And then I'll say, well, the front page of the, here's the headline. Murder arrested. And then he's going to be like, I knew it. I knew that. I totally have I read that newspaper before. And then I'll flip the newspaper around and show him the real headline and be like,

ah, ha ha!

The real headline is infant drowns in well.

Ah, ha, ha, ha.

You know nothing.

It's all in your fruity little head, you freak.

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