EP 222: Reader Question – What if my marriage is dependent on alcohol?

This Naked Mind Podcast

Annie Grace

Mental Health, Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 26 October 2019

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Unfortunately, drinking is often the one thing married couples do together. So, what happens when one or both of us quit? Will we even know each other without the comfort zone of drinking? Can our marriage survive without alcohol? Annie gently navigates through this tricky question with her best insight and advice.

Have you tried The Alcohol Experiment? Okay, if not, drop everything and go to thisnakedmind.com/experiment. This free 30-day challenge is designed to interrupt your patterns and put you back in touch with the best version of you. You remember, it was that version of you that’s living your most joyful life, the version that doesn’t need alcohol to relax or to have a good time, and is having more fun than ever. Again, this is a totally free challenge that will change everything for you. So learn more and join me 100% free at thisnakedmind.com/experiment.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Annie Grace and you're listening to this naked mind podcast where without judgment,
0:16.0	pain or rules, we explore the role of alcohol in our lives and culture.
0:20.2	Hi, this is Annie Grace, the author of this naked mind control alcohol and I have a question today from Deborah.
0:33.8	Deborah says, my marriage seems dependent on alcohol.
0:37.2	And one of the reasons I have such a hard time quitting is because of the vicious cycle I have with my husband.
0:42.0	We drink together a lot and for years we have.
0:45.2	I've seen it morph into a convoluted controlling dangerous blame game.
0:48.9	It's causing a severe depression, a drastic drop in self-esteem, self-respect, etc.
0:53.7	What are your thoughts on the dual alcohol-codependent relationship and the best way to overcome them?
0:59.4	It might be as big a step as someone leaving.
1:01.7	I realize this and I'm about ready to make the sacrifice because frankly alcohol has killed us as a couple.
1:07.2	But I don't think he wants to stop.
1:08.5	He says he does sometimes but that's usually in the throes of a bad hangover, you know, the drill.
1:13.2	What do you think I should do?
1:15.2	So this is such a sensitive and intense thing.
1:21.2	A few things that you need to know is number one, if you're having a hard time quitting
1:25.2	because of somebody else's behavior, I think finding, I think that's valid for sure.
1:31.6	But ultimately this needs to be a decision for you.
1:35.0	And you need to be true to yourself because if you aren't true to yourself in this decision,
1:40.3	you won't be able to bring the best of you to any marriage and it just won't have a chance.
1:45.6	Because what happens is a lot of times we have the option between guilt and resentment,
1:50.9	right, in relationships.
	...

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