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Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Episode 818: Barbara Higinbotham, LDS Mother of Three LGBTQ Children

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Religion & Spirituality

4.8839 Ratings

🗓️ 23 March 2025

⏱️ 64 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

My friend Barbara Higinbotham (married mother of 5 living children including a non-binary child, transgender daughter, and gay son; early 60s; recently returned in early 2025 from serving a senior mission with her husband Dan). Barbara shares: Assumptions should be challenged, being uncomfortable leads to growth Being LGBTQ doesn’t make someone a predator Why she chooses to honor the new names (Ben and Heather) and her non-binary child and transgender daughter including updated Christmas stockings Focus on the temple (current temple workers) and our Savior to find revelation, hope, and peace—and anchoring in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trusting/believing her children We are not better church members by distancing ourselves from the LGBTQ people in our lives Processing unkind comments in Church and on social media Managing grief with changing expectations Thank you, Barbara, for being on the podcast. I wish I could have listened to you 10-20 years ago—your insights would have helped to be a better disciple of Christ. I encourage everyone to listen/share this episode, as we work to “hasting the work” by “gathering Isreal”—which includes our LGBTQ friend, family and church members. Links: Barbara on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/barbara.morrellhiginbotham

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome listeners to another episode of Listen, Learn, and Love hosted by Richard Osler.

0:09.7

My guest on today's podcast is an LDS mother of three LGBTQ kids.

0:16.6

Welcome to the podcast, Barbara Higginbotham.

0:19.5

I'm happy to be here.

0:21.6

I got to meet Barbara about a week ago at North Star.

0:26.6

It was great to visit with her and feel her good heart.

0:29.6

Just a little bit about Barbara, and she'll go through this.

0:33.6

She is a return missionary from the Dominican Republic.

0:36.6

She is about my age, I think a few years younger in her early 60s.

0:41.3

Her and her husband recently returned as missionaries in Farmington, New Mexico.

0:47.1

He returned in January 2024.

0:50.1

They live in Utah County.

0:52.7

And they have five living kids.

0:54.5

They also lost twins at about 20, 21 weeks.

0:58.3

And that will come up during the podcast.

1:00.9

Barbara and her husbands, two of their kiddos have been on the podcast, Ben, who Barbara

1:06.9

will talk about in the podcast is their non-binary child.

1:10.2

And Ben, who goes mostly by they, them, I believe, was on episode 789 and did do terrific

1:16.9

jobs.

1:17.5

So Barbara's going to tell more of the story from a parent's perspective.

1:22.5

And also, she has a gay son, Matt, who just got home from his mission.

1:28.3

He was on episode 812, and I got to meet Matt at North Star.

...

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