Welcome, my name is Josh, and I am guiding teacher of Darmapung's New York.

And just a couple of announcements for your consideration. The large gathering at Garrison Institute on the Pathways of Ego Transcendants,

and that will be from August 31st till September 4th and we have

kept the prices absolutely as low as we possibly can so that people will be able to afford hopefully the

four day retreat it's in a really beautiful place in upstate New York easy to get to because it's within walking distance of the Metro North train. So if you're around New York and you want to go on a four day

retreat up in the beautiful foothills of the cat's kills that would be a place to join and great food there too.

So the links on the chat and also the information is on the website.

Kathy every morning does the daily pause at 8

and Monday through Friday for a half an hour. So hopefully you'll join for that. So if you would like to support my work as a Buddhist pastor. Everything I do is entirely by donation, they

counseling and the teaching. I don't charge for anything I do and that's out of the 2,500 year old Buddhist tradition. So the

Venmo is DarmaPunks with an ex-nyc. And the PayPal is on the Dartmouth-Punks NYC website and then there's a

Patreon for those of you who would like to join there and so thank you for your support.

Tonight fawning, fawning, what is fawning, We'll see that it's related to the freeze response.

It's a compulsive or people pleasing or accommodating others.

And it may seem like fawning is a choice that people make, that it's something that individuals decide to do, but if it's routine or if its underpinnings are early environmental deficits from childhood, It's actually an automatic survival

reaction to the anticipation of interpersonal conflict or rejection or the vulnerability to other people's judgments.

Fawning is a response to threat by becoming more appealing to the threat itself.

So generally, because we're social species, the threat is someone else that we're engaged with and some kind of interaction.

And so when we fall and we surrender our needs, our boundaries, we fail to speak up, we can become either tongue tied or more likely

will be very appeasing will become compliant will wind up agreeing to things or validating ideas that we don't actually authentically agree with.

And what's important to know is that people very often

fawn in entirely safe situations that are markedly different from maybe the early traumas of childhood.

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