Healing Attachment Wounds with Elizabeth Ferreira

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 20 January 2025

⏱️ 79 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Attachment wounds are emotional injuries that develop based on painful experiences with those we care about. These experiences create a kind of blueprint we carry around for how relationships work, and when that internal model is based on fear and pain, it's hard for our relationships to thrive. Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins the show to help us understand how we can heal old wounds and develop more secure forms of relating. Elizabeth and Forrest explore how early experiences shape our relationships, with a particular focus on a common paradox: deeply wanting connection while simultaneously fearing intimacy. They discuss fearful attachment, how Elizabeth approaches working with attachment wounds in clinical practice, complex PTSD, self-abandonment, facing our dreaded experience, setting healthy boundaries, and navigating relationships where fearful attachment patterns are present. About our Guest: Elizabeth Ferreira is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializes in somatic approaches to trauma work. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:05: Elizabeth’s personal experience of fearful attachment 7:40: Working with a therapist to heal attachment 11:55: Elizabeth’s experience learning to create boundaries 21:35: Internal Family Systems, and how to dialog with our parts 27:15: Working with our protective part, and self-criticism 31:00: Dialoguing with our inner child without a therapist 38:15: Healthy anger, grief, and patience 42:25: What helped Elizabeth be vulnerable in relating to Forrest 53:10: Disorganized moments, identifying needs, and taking in the good 1:00:20: Intent, impact, and reasonable limits 1:05:20: Becoming your own secure attachment figure, and healing in community 1:09:10: Recap I am now writing on Subståack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to being well. I'm Forrest Hansen. If you're new to the show, thanks for listening today. And if you've listened before, welcome back. I'm joined today by a very special guest, my absolute favorite person, Elizabeth Ferreira. Elizabeth, how are you doing today? Good. I'm glad to
0:22.7	be back on the pod. Yeah, I'm so glad to have you here. We recently recorded an episode, which was a
0:27.5	mailbag episode. We got a ton of questions from people. And one of the things that we got asked
0:32.6	about most frequently, we didn't actually talk about during that episode because I wanted to do a
0:37.0	full episode on it. We got a bunch of questions that were about fearful attachment, feeling like
0:43.1	people were having a hard time inside of their relationships, how have you progressed around
0:48.2	these various issues, which I now are very present for you in your life. And this got me thinking
0:52.3	about attachment wounds and attachment trauma
0:54.5	in general, which is a huge topic. And it's something that you really explore inside of your practice
0:59.4	with people as well as a somatic therapist and somebody who focuses on complex PTSD. But I thought it
1:05.6	made sense to just start with your own experience a little bit as somebody who identifies as having a more fearful attachment style.
1:12.3	Yeah. What do you want to know?
1:16.2	The classic Elizabeth that like turned the question back on me.
1:20.3	Okay, what do I want to know? What did that feel like in the past?
1:25.7	Like, what does it feel like to have a fearful attachment style?
1:27.8	What does that mean?
1:29.0	And then where have you been able to go with it?
1:31.6	Yeah.
1:32.2	So for me, fearful is also disorganized.
1:35.9	Yeah.
1:36.4	And basically what it feels like is that that whole domain of, of, like, attachment, that sort of part of our nervous system is fraught with
1:51.7	discomfort and it can be felt when people energetically like come towards you and it can also be felt
	...

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