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Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Keeping the Pilot Light Burning

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4978 Ratings

🗓️ 4 February 2025

⏱️ 50 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Most relationships start with a spark, a strong desire for sexual connection with the other. But as the years pass by the spark often fizzles, and our partners can start to feel like coworkers as our focus shifts to managing schedules, balancing budgets, and keeping up with the kids. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins host EmyLee McIntyre of the Limitless Female podcast to discuss how we can keep the spark in our marriages ALIVE amidst the responsibilities and drudgery of adulthood, and how sexuality doesn't just belong in the margins of our lives, but can be woven into the day to day in the way we connect with and relate to ourselves and our partner. This episode isn't just about getting the spark back, it's about transforming how you see and experience intimacy in your marriage. Listen to learn more about: - Intimacy beyond intercourse - The impact of anxiety / depression (including medication) on desire   - Agency and choice in sexuality - "Fighting Fair" in marriage  - Prioritizing partnership In the episode, EmyLee mentions how much she loves the Room for Two podcast. You can learn more about the podcast HERE. **Join us in St. George for the Strengthening Your Relationship couples' retreat! Learn more HERE!**

Transcript

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0:00.0

Esther Perel says, no woman wants a man to make love to her if she wouldn't also make love to herself.

0:06.3

What she means by that is that women, their sexual template is often about feeling desirable.

0:13.0

And they have to see and believe themselves as a desirable being.

0:16.9

Now, I don't mean in some narrow version of femininity or beauty or anything like that, but like, I know I'm a good human. I know I'm a good person. I do good in the world. I like who I am. That eros energy is emanating from us, that life force, that sense of happiness in the world. And it doesn't mean we think we're perfect or that we don't have

0:38.6

discouragement and all those things, but there is a kind of ease with yourself. And it shows in the

0:46.2

way you live. Welcome to conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of

0:58.2

relationships, sexuality, spirituality, and more, all featuring Dr. Finlayson Fife.

1:09.6

I'm so excited. We're here today with Dr. Finlayson Fife. And you are a LDS relationship and

1:18.4

sexuality coach with a PhD in counseling and psychology. Wow. Like that's a good list of

1:24.1

credentials. It's long. And I am part of your room for two community. And I am in love.

1:30.7

Every day I send my husband another episode and like, we can get on the same page. Listen to this

1:35.1

one on the way home. It's so good. And I write these like really good nuggets on my mirror.

1:41.6

You know, I'm just like, like wherever we can squeeze it in. But I,

1:45.2

I just love the way that you work with couples. I love the way you approach sexuality, which I feel

1:53.1

like that portion is not really addressed as often. Yeah. As it probably needs to be. I honestly

1:58.9

would love it if you would just defined sexuality for us.

2:02.4

Sure.

2:03.3

Yeah.

2:03.6

Well, it's kind of one of the hardest things for couples, I think, to address.

2:07.7

And so it gets easier to talk about the day-to-day conflicts.

2:10.6

But yes.

2:11.5

Well, the way I think about sexuality is that we just are sexual beings, you know,

...

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