You can't compare the one part of your life that you're not happy with

to the part in their life.

This is one of the most common things in the world and I come across it all the time, especially in people's love lives, people looking at other people and saying they have what I want.

You know, I thought I'd be married by now. I thought I'd have a family by now.

I at least thought I'd have met the love of my life by now.

And I still haven't. And I look around and my friends have all found

people, they're all married, or they're on their second child. I have to see these things

posted constantly on social media. And it just makes me feel awful. And this feeling can be

particularly pronounced at a time when we're going through a breakup,

when something that we thought had potential falls through. All of a sudden, we go back to feeling

so behind, so hopeless and really afraid that we're at this age and my life isn't where I thought

it would be. And of course, this also plays out with people who are looking at other people's careers

and how far other people have got in that aspect of life or their finances or their health.

We have to find a way to reground ourselves in those moments where we are beating ourselves up because we're telling

ourselves a story that we are behind. And today I want to go through some ways that you can

reground yourself if you're feeling this. So the first thing I want to say is that when we're comparing ourselves to other people and telling ourselves that we are behind, we are usually comparing ourselves to people's results, but what we're not doing is looking at the backstory to those results and how someone else's backstory differs from our

backstory. We look at somebody else and we say look at them, they're in a healthy, happy

relationship, they've been married for 20 years. I have gone from one bad relationship to another.

Or, you know, I spent 10 years with a narcissist who destroyed my life

and i've been picking up the pieces ever since look how terrible i am look how crappy my life is

compared to theirs and of course when we're telling ourselves our own life is bad usually that is

the precursor to self-hatred.

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