The truth is if we can find more joy in the dating process,

we'll be able to be more productive in the process

because we'll be able to sustain our energy in dating for longer. There are three types of people that I see struggling in dating all the time.

The skater, the sinker, and the sideliner.

And as I go through the characteristics of these three different archetypes,

you let me know in the comments which one you most identify with.

The first archetype is the skater. The skater is someone who is out there dating a lot.

This is someone who has definitely prioritized their dating life.

They are very open about the fact that they are looking for love,

but they date like it is their job.

There is a palpable fear of this person being on their own, of leaving any real gaps between anyone they're dating, and constantly

jumping from one person to the next.

That could be in the form of lots of short-term relationships and as soon as one ends

they go straight to the next one it could also be in the form of dates themselves going

on multiple dates every single week never really having the time to be present with any one person,

not really allowing the time for a true connection to form, to see the other person, or to be seen by the other person.

In a sense, the skater lacks vulnerability.

There's no time to really go deep.

There's no time to really go deep, there's no time to really be seen to actually open up

about who they are and importantly there isn't the space to actually get hurt

because even if someone hurts their feelings, even if someone

rejects them, even if someone that they've been seeing for a minute suddenly disappears instead of in any way

...