If we diagnose ourselves as an anxious attachment style, the danger of a diagnosis is that it becomes an excuse for whatever we do. Hey everybody. It's Matthew Hussey with the Love Life Podcast. I am excited to share this clip with you today. Let's get into it.

There are four different attachment styles anxious, secure,

avoidant and anxious avoidant.

Audrey, maybe you can speak to the anxious attachment style and

maybe the anxious avoidant.

I'm not sure about you guys but I first heard about attachment styles when I read the book

Attached which talked about attachment theory so I suppose people who have anxious attachment

are always looking for ways the relationship is going to fall apart.

A lot of it is tied into feeling sort of fears of abandonment and fears of rejection.

You can get very, very reactive in arguments because you get very flared up within those kinds of ways but also I think even when the

relationship is going well you're still looking for ways that it could fall apart even in the best

moments.

What for you is the worst part about being,

having that anxious attached style,

that anxious style? Well I actually I've got much better over time with it I

definitely related to it more a few years ago but I think I think the hardest part is not being able to enjoy it,

not being able to just feel safe. Not being able to enjoy the thing you have.

Correct, yeah, not being able to just enjoy the relationship.

And it can be the most beautiful or non-confrontational non-argumentative relationship, yet you still somehow

have this underlying feeling of everything's going to go wrong and everything's going to go to

shit. So I think that's probably the hardest thing and I think accepting

that you are safe is something I've personally had to do a lot of work on as you know and I think that once

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